Page 12 of Ruthless Secrets
As true as it might be, it doesn’t quite roll off the tongue.
In reality, no amount of apologizing or groveling is going to make up for what he did to me. My heart has been shattered, and I’m not sure whether it will ever be whole again.
Over the past five years, I can’t remember the last time I went for more than a few hours without talking to Adam. Even when I was working a long shift at the restaurant, I always found time to slip into the back and send him a quick text just so he would know that I was thinking about him.
I miss him, and Ihatethat I miss him.
What makes it so much worse is that the one person I would choose over everyone to talk through all of this with is the very person he cheated on me with.
Jess was my best friend, and not just a college roommate type of best friend. We met on the first day of kindergarten, and she has been at my side for the past twenty years. To lose her as well as Adam… Let’s just say that I didn’t think it was possible to feel this much pain.
I understand now how some people actually die from a broken heart.
I’m tempted to go back to sleep. It is the only time when I don’t feel like my soul has been ripped off my body. In my dreams, I get to re-live my one night of incredible sex.
Over and over again.
Someone starts pounding on the bedroom door. “Get up! We’ve got shit to do.”
“Go away, Sam!”
Sam Shields is my second best friend. Though I supposeshe’s now been promoted to the top position, considering the fact that Jess is out of my life.
She has been an incredible friend to me during all of this by letting me stay in her spare room and listening to my endless amounts of crying through the walls. If it wasn’t for her, I would still be living at my old apartment with my ex-fiancé and his new baby mommy.
The only downside to Sam is that she’s not one for wallowing.
My door opens, and my covers are pulled off of me.
“Hey!” I curl up into a ball.
“The sooner we get your crap out of Adam’s apartment, the sooner you can move on with your life.” Sam throws open the curtains so that the bright March sun streams in through the window.
“Let me wallow,” I whine as I screw my eyes shut.
“You’ve been wallowing for a month, and you’ve used up all of my shampoo, so it’s about time you go and get your own stuff.”
Damn her. She makes a good point.
“What if he’s there?” I mumble.
“He’s not.”
I bolt upright in bed. “Did you speak to him?”
“No, but it’s a Tuesday. He’ll be at work.”
“Oh, right…” I forgot that normal life has resumed for everyone but me.
“Which means we have until five at the latest to get all of your stuff out. And we need to go and pick up the keys to your new place on the way, so getup.”
My eyes well with tears at the mention of my new apartment.
“Shit, Clara, I’m sorry. I know I’m not great with the sympathy stuff.” Sam takes a seat on the end of the bed.
“No, you’ve been great.” I wipe my eyes. “I just can’tbelieve this is happening. This wasn’t part of the plan.”
“All the good things never are.”
