Page 60 of Ruthless Secrets
“Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. The only reason I was able to leave that night and didn’t find you sooner was because I wasn’t in the right headspace for a relationship.”
My lips twitch as Clara’s cheeks start to turn a soft shade of pink.
“And what about now?” Her voice comes barely above a whisper.
“Things have changed.”
I look over at Zoe as she sleeps, and a tidal wave of affection takes my breath away.
Will I ever get used to this feeling? I hope not. I hope that I feel this every time I look at her for the rest of my life.
“I still can’t believe the stupidity of your asshole fiancé for letting someone like you slip through his fingers.” I take a sip of my blisteringly hot espresso.
“I guess Jess was the better choice.” She shrugs, spooning the froth off the top of her cappuccino and eating it. “Anyway, they’re married now with a kid of their own.”
“Do you ever think about the alternative?”
“What do you mean?”
“If you hadn’t found out, and he decided to marry you anyway.”
She sighs. “Sometimes. But I’m glad things didn’t work out because then I wouldn’t have had Zoe.”
Her green eyes flick to mine and for a moment, we just stare at each other across the table.
It seems strange that so many things had to go wrong for each of us in order to have brought us to this point.
“But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to hurt Adam like he hurt me.” She looks away. “Zoe did prove to be a great distraction from it all, but I often wonder if I used the pregnancy as a way to avoid dealing with the aftermath of it all.”
“In what way?”
“I mean, Adam and Jess pretty much fucked up my ability to trust people.”
“That’s understandable.”
“And it’s not just that. I mean, the last time I had sex was…” Clara’s eyes widen, as if she’s just remembered who she’s talking to.
My eyebrows shoot up.
Is she insinuating that she’s not had sex since we were together? From the way her face has turned a bright shade of pink, I’d say it must be true, and I can’t deny that this piece of information makes me very happy.
I can’t help but tease her a bit. “I guess I must have just set the bar too high.”
“Don’t go getting a big head. Having a baby doesn’t leave you with much time for dating.”
“Trust me, love. My head is not what’s growing in size.”
Clara’s jaw practically hits the floor, and I can’t help but laugh.
She groans as she buries her face in her hands. “Please, can we change the subject?”
“Absolutely not. I like hearing about your lack of sex life.”
She folds her arms across her chest. “Don’t worry about me. I’m very good at taking care of myself.”
Now it’s my turn for my jaw to hit the floor.
When we finally make itback to Andre’s house, Zoe has woken up and is full of energy. Before I even have a chance tooffer to take her for the afternoon so Clara can rest, Lila suggests a cousin playdate out in the garden.
