Page 97 of Ruthless Secrets
I force a smile, though I can’t help but worry about the future.
What is the plan here? Am I ever going to go back home? And when I do, is Marco going to come with me?
I thought we were heading toward something more serious, but maybe I was wrong.
What if I’m more invested than he is?
I want to know where I stand with him, and I know the only way to find out is to just straight up ask him.
But as I think of how tense and moody he was, I might wait until he’s in a slightly better mood.
Chapter Twenty-Two
MARCO
In a matter of seconds,I’ve ruined any progress I’ve made with Clara.
As I head up the stairs behind Jax, I feel sick to my stomach.
A lot has shifted in the last few hours, not just between Clara and I, but with Alfonzo too. The pieces are moving across the board quicker than I predicted, and I just have to hope that I can keep up.
I know I should have at least told Clara that I was with Andre, but it would have led to more questions that I don’t want to answer.
Right now, all she should be focusing on is Zoe and letting me take care of the rest. I don’t want her to worry when she doesn’t have to, though it seems she’s going to do that anyway.
It’s bad enough that after I got off the phone with my brother last night, I had to drive into the city to meet with him, Levi, Jax, and Enzo to discuss our next move. We talked for hours, going around and around in circles about how toapproach this threat of Alfonzo and Tommaso, with no other solution other than to approach Cillian Moore.
If that wasn’t enough to put me in a bad mood, Andre decided that because I came up with the idea, I’m the one who has the pleasure of meeting with him.
It’s not going to be easy to convince Cillian to join us, which only adds to my stress.
He’s a notoriously difficult man at the best of times, but I’m hoping I can use his hatred of Alfonzo and Tommaso to my advantage because I don’t have a plan B.
After calling up all of the bars that Cillian owns across the city, I finally manage to track him down and arrange to meet him at The Bloody Harp over in Hell’s Kitchen.
It’s a dive of a place, but I don’t risk suggesting an alternative spot. If I want to get him on our side, I’m going to have to put my ego aside and let him call the shots for the time being.
It’s safe to say I have a lot riding on this meeting, and seeing Clara this morning only made it worse.
I’m doing this to keep her and Zoe safe, and I can’t afford to make any mistakes.
I was planning on being back from my meeting with Andre before Clara woke up but by the time we had gone over what I was going to say to Cillian, it was almost seven a.m.
I knew she would be upset that I left without any explanation, and I curse myself for not bothering to leave her a note. I guess I’m still getting used to having someone waiting for me when I get home.
I don’t bother to confide in my brother about what’s been weighing heavy on my mind. Andre would tell me to just come clean to Clara, seeing as she knows who I am and what my family is involved with, and she is yet to run. But that doesn’t mean she won’t still.
After the way I treated her this morning, I think I might have already planted the seed in her head that she might be better off without me.
I’ve been trying my hardest to be the man she deserves, but something I do is bound to push her over the edge and she’s going to walk away without looking back, taking my daughter along with her.
I just have to make sure to give her a good enough reason to stay.
I lock myself in my room and busy myself with showering and changing to try and distract myself. But the scent of Clara’s perfume still clings to my skin from last night, and the sight of the rumpled sheets has my chest tightening.
Last night was perfect, and I want more than anything to recreate that every night with Clara for the rest of our lives.
Making her smile brings me such happiness that I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling. I just wish that I didn’t have to sacrifice her happiness in order to protect her.
