Page 58 of Open Secrets
“For what?” My voice rises, frustration breaking loose. I rake a hand through my hair, heat pulsing in my chest. “Jesus, Mom. You think us deciding to terminate the pregnancy—for our future—was supposed to be a family discussion?”
Her silence dares me to keep going. So I do.
“The fact is, Maria and I talked about something that would’ve affectedus, and we made the decision. The right decision, apparently. Because if Maria hadn’t ended that pregnancy, she would’ve dropped out of school. She wouldn’t have finished her degree, wouldn’t have gotten her license. And years later—when Rain got sick—she wouldn’t have had the career or the income to keep our family afloat. She wouldn’t have been able to take care of herself. Or our kids.”
My mother looks shocked then shakes her head, eyes hard. “We would’ve been there for her.”
“Really?” I snap. “Or would you have just found some other way to blame Maria for something that was never her fault?”
She looks away, voice breaking just a little. “I shouldn’t have said that. I had just found out—from Bethany, of all people—and I lashed out.”
I lean forward, my voice sharp. “Be honest, Mom. You weren’t mad about the abortion. You were mad about the lie.”
Her head whips back toward me, eyes flashing. “I was mad that Maria had an abortion without telling you—while you were married.”
“What?” The word rips out of me.
She nods, lips pressed tight. “That’s what Bethany said. That Maria got pregnant on your honeymoon and had an abortion without telling anyone.”
I stare at her, heat rushing up my neck. “Why didn’t you tell me that before? All the times I begged you to understand, and you said nothing?”
Her voice drops to a whisper. “I don’t know.”
Then she turns toward my father, her face pale, her hand reaching blindly for his. “What did we do?”
He doesn’t answer. He just squeezes her hand and stares at the floor.
“Just so there’s no confusion,” I say, my voice steady but hard, “Maria got pregnant when we were nineteen. We were broken up at the time. She came to me as soon as she found out, and together we decided to abort. I was there for her when shehad the procedure. Because that’s how you raised me—to take responsibility for my actions.”
My mom’s lips tremble. She nods slowly, then wipes at the tears streaking her cheeks. “At least… at least we did that right.”
The room feels smaller, heavier. My dad clears his throat, his voice rough. “Would it help if we apologized?”
I shake my head, leaning back. “I don’t know. If you were in her place… would you forgive?”
For once, he doesn’t argue. He just nods, his face drawn, and whispers, “Right.”
Chapter Eighteen
Maria — Present
You know when you dread something, it comes just as quickly? Well, before I know it, I’m back in the beautiful office with the comfy couch and the professional therapist across from me.
“That must have been intense,” Dr. Nina says gently.
I nod. I’ve just finished telling her everything that happened yesterday—minus the part about the sex. “Yeah.”
She folds her hands in her lap. “Children are more perceptive than you think.”
“Well,” I say, leaning back, “Lyle talked to Remi before bed, and whatever he said worked. Because this morning, Lyle actually got a ‘good morning’ out of him.”
Her brows lift a little. “And you?”
I exhale, slow. “I’m relieved. It’s like… this boulder’s been lifted off my chest.”
“Can I ask you something?” she says.
I nod, even though she already did.
