Page 45 of Break My Heart
‘It’s okay. I don’t even remember her. It was a long time ago.’
‘How did she—’
‘She was in the Army. A bomb exploded.’
‘How old were you when she died?’
‘Six. I was living with my grandpa, my mom’s dad. I remember him giving me a stuffed bear the day he told me. He didn’t usually give me presents other than at holidays so I knew something was up.’
‘Where was your dad?’
‘He was deployed at the time. They let him come home for her funeral, but then he had to leave again.’
‘That must’ve been tough with your mom gone and your dad not around.’
‘It’s all I knew. I never knew what it was like to have parents around. The military is my dad’s life. For as long as I can remember, he’s either been living on a base somewhere or serving on the front lines.’
‘And he never took you with to wherever he was stationed?’
‘He thought it was better for me to have a stable home than move around all the time. But honestly, I think he just didn’t want to be a father.’ I look down, wanting to kick myself for saying that. It’s something I know is true, but I never tell people that. I tellthem my father is a hero, a man who’s brave and strong and willing to sacrifice for his country. It’s true, but I also see him as someone who chose his career over his daughter.
‘So that summer at camp .?.?.’ Sawyer waits for me to tell him more.
‘Was right after it happened. My mom died in May, a few weeks before my seventh birthday. In June I left for camp. My dad thought it’d be good for me to get away and be with kids my own age. He thought it would get my mind off what happened.’
‘But didn’t you want to be around family instead of people you didn’t know?’
‘Yes, but it wasn’t my decision, and you don’t talk back to my father. You do what he says and don’t complain.’
‘Do you still talk to him?’
I clear my throat and pick up my glass. ‘I’m going to go get another beer.’
‘I’ll do it.’ Sawyer takes the glass. ‘Another IPA or do you want something else?’
‘I’ll take the stout this time.’
‘Be right back.’ He goes downstairs, leaving me with thoughts of my dad and the last time I saw him. It was a year ago. My dad was home on leave. We had a fight, the biggest one we’d ever had. He told me to sell the building I’d inherited from my grandfather and get a house instead, and to use the money my grandfather left me to go to college so I could get a better job.
I didn’t want a house and I didn’t want to go to college. I wanted a business, something that was all mine, something that I built. My dad didn’t understand that. He said it was too risky, that most businesses fail. It took me a few months to realize he was thinking more about himself than me. He ordered me to go to school and get a house because it meant he wouldn’t have to worry about me. I’d have a place to live and get a degree that would helpme make more money. He could go on with his life and forget all about me. Putting all of my inheritance into a brewery meant I might end up broke and homeless and asking my dad for help. My dad’s never believed in me or cared about what I want. He doesn’t even know me. If he did, he’d know I’d never ask for his help. If G’s had to close, I’d find some other way to support myself.
‘The food is here,’ Sawyer says, coming back in the apartment with our beers. Behind him is a guy holding two paper sacks. ‘Gina, this is Eric.’
‘Hey!’ The guy smiles at me as he sets the sacks on the kitchen counter. ‘Sawyer says you’re the owner of the new brewery.’
‘That’s me. You should stop by.’ I walk over to him. He’s kind of cute, in a boyish type of way. He’s average height with messy blond hair, light blue eyes, and a dimple in his cheek. But I’d still pick Sawyer if I had to choose. Sawyer has a more manly look. He’s tall, with an athletic build, and I like his dark hair and brown eyes. I’ve never been that attracted to blonds.
‘I might have to okay that with Sawyer,’ Eric jokes.
‘Go ahead,’ Sawyer says. ‘I’ve got no problem with you going there. It’s not like I only eat at your restaurant.’
‘Wait—what?’ Eric gives him an angry look. ‘You’re telling me you eat at other places?’
Sawyer laughs. ‘Get out of here so we can eat.’
Eric smiles at me. ‘Good meeting you. I’ll stop by this week for a beer.’
‘Looking forward to it.’
