Page 79 of Break My Heart
‘And what happens if it doesn’t work out? You’ll be left with nothing. No money. No place to live.’
‘I’ll figure it out,’ I say, feeling annoyed. He hasn’t been around for most of my life and yet he thinks he knows me and cangive me advice. This is why we don’t talk. It just turns into a lecture of what he thinks I should be doing.
‘Willy shouldn’t have put those ideas in your head. If he hadn’t, you’d still be working a real job and could’ve used that money of his for something practical, like a house.’
Willy is my grandfather and the person who taught me to believe in myself. Growing up, he told me I could do anything. He’s the reason I beat boys in sports and competitions. He never let me doubt myself or think that because I was a girl, I couldn’t do stuff that boys did. It wasn’t until I was older and saw people dismissing me because I was a girl that those doubts started appearing. But when they did, my grandfather would shut them down, telling me I’m only limited by my own beliefs, not those of others.
Before he died, I told my grandfather I wanted to open my own microbrewery. He didn’t question me or tell me I couldn’t do it. He said to go for it. I didn’t have the money then and was looking into getting a loan. My grandfather offered to give me the loan himself, but then he died before he could. In his will, he left me the building in Haydon Falls along with a note saying the building was the future home of G’s brewery. G was his nickname for me. Even after his death, he was still pushing me to follow my dreams.
‘If things don’t work out,’ my dad says, ‘you might be able to get some money for that building. Probably not much, but enough for you to live off of until you get a job.’
‘It’s going to work out. I just need more time. Nobody knows me here. Once they do, things will get better.’
‘It’s not easy in a small town. Those people tend to take care of their own. They give you any trouble yet?’
‘No. Everyone I’ve met so far has been great,’ I say, thinkingof Sawyer’s family. Other than them, I really don’t know many people in town.
‘Just be careful. Sometimes locals don’t take well to new people.’
‘I haven’t had any problems and I’ve been here for months.’
‘Well, that’s good. Hope it stays that way. Hey, I wanted to talk to you about the holidays.’
‘You’re coming home, right?’
‘That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’m thinking of staying here in Germany during my leave.’
‘Why? Why wouldn’t you come home?’
‘There’s a woman, a lady friend I’ve been seeing for about a year now. She has family here and asked if I’d go home with her when I’m on leave. I wasn’t sure what your plans were but—’
‘Yeah, go ahead,’ I tell him, knowing he’d rather be there than here. It hurts that he doesn’t want to be with me over the holidays, but the reality is, he’s never been much of a dad, and when he’s home, it’s awkward between us. We don’t know what to talk about and he always seems like he’s in a hurry to leave.
‘Are you sure? Because I can tell her no. I already told her I’d planned to come see you. I’d hate for you to be alone over the holidays.’
‘Don’t worry about me. I can spend the holidays with friends.’
It’s not really true. Aria is my only friend in town and she’s going to a resort in Mexico for the holidays. And Sawyer and I aren’t serious enough for me to spend the holidays with him and his family.
‘If you’re really okay with it, I’ll let her know.’
‘Yeah, go ahead and tell her. Dad, I should get to bed. It’s late.’
‘Before you go, if this bar of yours doesn’t work out, you’ll be okay. You’re a fighter, kid.’
That’s actually a compliment for him. He rarely gives me compliments, saying it’s not good to think too highly of yourself. Gives you nothing to work for.
‘Let me know how everything goes.’
‘I will. Bye, Dad.’ I end the call and feel myself tearing up. I go in the bathroom and splash cold water on my face. This isn’t worth crying about. Who cares if my dad doesn’t want to see me? I should be used to this by now. I shouldn’t expect anything from him.
I’m on my own, and I can make this business work. I just have to be smarter and work harder. I need to get that competitive spirit back. That’s what drives me to do better. I need to compete with Sawyer like I did when we were kids. Just because I’m dating him doesn’t mean I have to let him win. If he can get customers, so can I.
Starting tomorrow, the competition begins. I’m stepping up my efforts, determined to succeed.
* * *
‘Hey,’ Aria says as she comes into work the next day just before four. ‘You look happy.’ She smiles. ‘Did Sawyer come over last night?’
