Page 17 of The Tempo of Truth
“I don’t want this.”I pushed the box containing a brand-new phone in Winnie’s direction with my uninjured hand.
She was arguing with Lowe about finishing his dinner before letting him have a sweet treat and didn’t even bother to turn her head or look at me when she coolly reminded me, “If you’re going to stick around, I need to be able to reach you.Who knows when you’ll be feeling up to getting a replacement?This makes life easier for both of us.”
Logically, I knew she had a point, but I didn’t want to take anything from her.It was part of the agreement we made before she let me spend time with my son.It made me feel extra shitty to deviate from the initial plan.I was already sick and tired of the repeated refrain that I was using Winnie and Lowe for money and leveraging her status to revive my long-forgotten football career.I was plenty used to being cast as the villain, but this was the first time I cared if someone got the wrong idea about me.It made me extremely uncomfortable when I thought about how other kids might tease Lowe or use me and my less-than-stellar reputation to harass him.I’d only spent a handful of hours with the little guy, and I was already torn to pieces with worry and concern over him.
The reason I finally let Winnie pick me up from the ER and bully me into having dinner at the brownstone and staying the night wasn’t because she was insistent or because Lev conspired with her behind my back.I relented solely because I didn’t want to let Lowe down or be seen as irresponsible in his eyes.I grew up with an unreliable father.I knew how much it hurt to be left high and dry by someone who was supposed to show up for you.
I begrudgingly took the phone back.While Winnie and I were talking, Lowe did his best to sneak a forkful of vegetables onto my plate.Since I hardly touched my food, the addition would’ve been difficult to spot if Winnie wasn’t watching us like a hawk.I was surprised when she told me she made an effort to be home by dinnertime so she could personally cook for the two of us.The Winnie from my memory didn’t even know how to order a pizza without help, so I was shocked that she knew her way around the kitchen these days.Even more so when it became apparent she had minimal help around the house.It was oddly domestic and cozy for a woman with her means.
Winnie shook her head when the little boy asked if he could be done and have a snack.He pouted and huffed out an overly dramatic sigh.He dropped his head so his chin was resting on the edge of the table and widened his eyes so that he resembled a forlorn baby deer.
“Mommm!You’re being unfair.”There was a thump as a little foot kicked something under the table.“I don’t have to eat every single piece of broccoli when I’m next door.”
Winnie lifted her eyebrows and met his pleading gaze with a stern one of her own.“That’s funny.When I was your age, Uncle Win made me clean my plate every single day.He told me that if I didn’t eat what was put in front of me, I’d never get taller.How are you going to be the best goalie in the world if you never get any bigger than you are right now?”
Lowe’s head jerked up, and his dark eyes darted between me and his mother.It took him a minute to decide I was the more trustworthy adult at the moment.He asked incredulously, “Is that true?I won’t get taller without vegetables?”
I chuckled when I realized he didn’t look to me for verification because I appeared honest.He asked me because I was a solid two to three inches taller than his mother.Winnie wasn’t short, but she was far from statuesque.In his mind, if Win forced her to eat her veggies and she was still shorter than me, her argument was invalid.
“Unfortunately, youdohave to eat right and exercise if you want to be an athlete.There’s no magic formula to make you taller, but I think if you listen to your mom, you’ll have plenty of height when you get older.”He had my DNA doing most of the heavy lifting already.It wasn’t unlikely Lowe would inherit my long legs along with my dark hair and eyes.I reached to ruffle his hair and reminded him, “You don’t have to be tall to be a great goalie.Hard work and lots of practice will take you farther than a pair of long legs.”
He nodded and obediently snatched back the food from my plate.
Winnie praised him for making the right choice and then asked him what he wanted for a snack.At first, he asked for ice cream, then a cookie, and then a brownie.After a bit of back and forth, she convinced him to have some caramel popcorn.She suggested the two of us sit down and watch his favorite animated movie before he needed to get ready for bed.Since I was there to spend time with Lowe, the activity wouldn’t leave an opening for her to question me about my current sorry state.
I really wanted to pound Lev into the ground over his new agenda to throw me at Winnie whenever he saw an opportunity.It felt a little like I was a piece of meat getting sold to slaughter.If Winnie and I didn’t have history, and if I wasn’t keenly aware that she genuinely cared about my well-being, I would’ve broken the old trainer’s jaw by now.
I declined needing anything when she settled me and Lowe in the opulent living room with a projection screen.I didn’t have much of an appetite, which meant I was avoiding taking the painkillers the ER prescribed.My shoulder was throbbing uncomfortably, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.The broken and splinted fingers were another story.They ached so badly that the entire side of my body felt like it was on fire.Sinking into the oversized, cloudlike sofa while the little boy curled up next to me with his prized popcorn was the most unbothered I’d been in a very long time.
I thought Winnie would join our movie-watching party, but after a while, I heard her doing the dishes in the kitchen and then the low hum of her voice responding to a heavily accented one, indicating she was in an online meeting.There was no question that she stayed very busy but still made our son her priority.I found myself begrudgingly impressed by how she juggled everything in her life.
She was doing a much better job at keeping her shit together than I was.It made me realize how difficult Winnie’s life must’ve been after that night in Portugal.I was always pathetic and feeling sorry for myself over all that I’d lost; it never occurred to me that she might face some serious struggles.I tended to write off any challenge she encountered as a mere annoyance because she had enough money to make any problem go away.I forgot that she never wielded her wealth as a weapon against others, even those who had done her wrong.She could’ve made my life much harder than it already was.I had no idea what I would’ve done if she’d shown up on my doorstep, pregnant and looking for support.I was in no condition back then to take care of anyone.I think Winnie understood that better than I did.
“How did you hurt your arm?”Lost in thought, I had to drag my attention back to the little boy at my side.
I looked down at the sling and my splinted fingers with a frown.“It was a misunderstanding.”
The guys who jumped me were instigated by the boyfriend of one of the TV starlets I’d been hooking up with on and off for the last few months.I hadn’t been in touch with her since Winnie came back to the city, but for some reason, her boyfriendjustfound out she wasn’t a one-dick sort of gal.He and a group of his friends ambushed me and Mino on the basketball court.It wasn’t a fair fight from the jump.They showed up with brass knuckles and a baseball bat.I’d taken the brunt of the beating, but Mino caught the edge of a knife one of them had hidden.I was far more worried about how he was doing than I was about my own injuries.
I was fairly certain Winnie didn’t hound me over what happened after she picked me up because she didn’t want to hear me admit that my lack of control over my dick got me into trouble.
When I thought about it, it seemed like I hadn’t learned any lessons from the past.I was still stuck in a time when I couldn’t care about anyone else and was blindly chasing after anything that gave me a moment of reprieve from my regret.
“Does it hurt?”Lowe crunched on the popcorn and spilled a handful of it on the sofa.
“It doesn’t feel great.I need to be more careful in the future.”
The little head nodded solemnly, sending his dark hair into his eyes.He was such a cute kid.It never occurred to me that I was probably biased since he looked so much like me.
“You can’t play football with your friends if you’re hurt.”He turned his thoughtful gaze in my direction and asked, “Did you ask your mommy to kiss it and make it better?That’s what my mommy does when I get hurt.It helps a lot.”
I snagged a couple of pieces of popcorn and popped them into my mouth.“My mom lives in France.She’s too far away to help me out.”
Lowe tilted his head, looking like an inquisitive puppy.He stared at me for a moment before his eyes lit up, and he suggested, “Ask my mommy to do it.She’s nice.She can fix it since your mommy isn’t here.”
I blew out a breath and settled down farther into the plush material of the sofa.I rested my hand on top of Lowe’s head and quietly agreed with him.“Your mom is very nice.She always has been.”
She was too kind and too forgiving for a guy like me.
