Page 9 of Bruno
“Did I?” The afternoon sun burnishes her brownskin so that she shimmers like a dream. A phantom I’ve created to help me through long nights of torture. Only she’s as real as the ground beneath my feet. To have her near and yet far is more excruciating than any day without her ever was.
“I’ll do my best to behave. I won’t touch you.” She nods, and her shoulders sink.Relief or regret?“Unless you want me to.”
Attia shakes her head again. “You don’t get it, do you? It’s over. It’s been over for years.”
“No, you’re the one who doesn’t get it. I never considered us over—only apart.”
“So you stayed celibate all these years?” She raises a brow in challenge.
The other brow shoots up to meet it when I nod. “Yes. I figured if you could sacrifice, so could I. I wanted to have something to offer you when I returned. It was a small price to pay when I didn’t want anyone else.”
“So for fifteen years…”
“No,” A muscle in my jaw tics like a bomb counting down before, despite my best efforts, I explode. “Not fifteen. The night you got married, I got so drunk I could barely see. I met a woman at the bar and fucked her in every way I could think of. It was angry and brutal, but I didn’t give a fuck, and luckily, she didn’t either. After that, I came back to myself. I woke up in a strange hotel room and had to convince myself not to put a bullet in my brain.”
“No-”
“Yes. I had a few more blackout-drunk nights. Before I finally told Marco, I didn’t want another update. I didn’t want pictures of you and my son, and I damn sure didn’t want pictures of the three of you. It took me another year or two to be happy for you. To accept that all I wanted for you was happiness, even if it wasn’t with me. “
“I never meant to hurt you.” Her voice is small, so much smaller than she’s ever sounded.
“And I never meant to hurt you,” I repeat back. It was the hardest thing I ever did—sending you away—but it was the only way to protect you. And now we’re here.”
“I know.” She takes a deep breath. “What are we going to tell Chris?”
“The truth,” I say it like it’s simple. Like we haven’t been through hell and back. But it’s the only way to get past it. The only way to make him understand. “He’s a smart kid. He wouldn’t accept anything less if we tried. It might be hard to hear at first, but…“ I wipe a hand over my face. It’s still early, and I’m tired. Wiped from emotion, frustration, and worry. “He’ll figure it out.”
“And what do we do until then?” She chews her lip again. “I mean, we can’t stay in the same room. We won’t make it through the week.”
“No,” I agree. “We won’t.”
“I guess I should go to one of the other bedrooms. Let you have the master.”
“That’s not necessary.”
Her eyes narrow. “I’m not sleeping with you. I told you that.”
“I heard you.”
“But you don’t believe me.”
“I believe that you want me to believe you,” I shrug. “It’s okay. I won’t bother you. Just know that I’m right next door if you need me.”
Her dark brown eyes watch me like a sniper, checking his scope. Then she shakes her head, spins on her heel, and heads for the door. “I’ll check on Chris.”
“Give me a few minutes, and I’ll join you. He should hear from both of us.” She nods her head and does that lip-biting thing again that is driving me hard against my promise not to touch her.
As soon as Attia’s gone, I sit at my desk and call Marco. “What’s up, lover boy? How’s the family reunion?”
“Don’t start with me, Marco. Two minutes ago, I damn near had my hands wrapped around my son’s neck for disrespecting his mother. Judging by the shocked look on Attia’s face, I’m guessing it’s the first time he ever pulled that crap.”
“I’m guessing he won’t be doing that again.”
“Probably not. He also won’t be accusing me of damn near raping his mother, either.”
“Shit.” The spit take he gives in response is mildly satisfying. The sound of crumbled napkins and more curses assaults my ears before he returns to the call. “Jesus, warn a guy. Why the fuck would he accuse you of that shit? Does he think he’s a child of assault?”
Rubbing my temple doesn’t stop my head from throbbing. It doesn’t stop me from wanting to bang it against a wall in frustration. “I don’t know what the hell he thinks. He walked in on Attia and me kissing, and he got the wrong impression.”
