Page 60 of Exes That Puck
“I can’t believe this shit,” Ava says, staring back at the house as we drive away. “My brother is an asshole to you? Picking fights? Fuck him, Kare. You deserve better.”
I sigh. “I’m not any better, Ava. I started a lot of our fights. We both have our issues.”
“Yeah, but you left, and that makes you strong.”
My stomach plummets as I shake my head. I can’t pretend that I’m something I’m not. “No, I’m not strong. I’m still sleeping with him.”
Ava turns to stare at me, eyebrows raised. “Don’t be dumb. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Cut him off. He seriously doesn’t deserve you. You’re too good for him.”
I shrug, feeling smaller by the second. “I love your brother.”Too much,but I don’t add that part.
When we get back to my dorm, Payton is on her bed with textbooks spread around her. She looks up as we walk in, taking in Ava’s tear-stained face and my guilty expression.
“Did you know she’s still screwing my dumbass brother?” Ava announces as soon as she sees Payton.
Payton sits up straighter. “I know! I’ve been telling her to stop.”
I sink onto my bed, feeling like the world’s biggest idiot as they both stare at me.
“Seriously, Kara,” Ava continues, settling into Payton’s desk chair like she owns the place. “You need to cut him off completely. No contact, no sex, nothing. He’s going to keep hurting you. This shit never it ends. It’s a toxic cycle. You broke up with him, didn’t you? So you know that not being with him is the smart thing to do!”
“But he’s been different lately,” I say weakly. “More considerate. Less controlling.”
Both girls give me identical looks of disbelief.
“They always seem different for a little while,” Payton says gently. “That’s part of the cycle.”
“Willy was ‘different’ too,” Ava adds, making air quotes out of pure anger. “For about two weeks before he went right back to being a jealous asshole. It’s who they are, Kare.”
I pull my knees to my chest. “So what am I supposed to do? Just pretend I don’t love him?”
“You’re supposed to love yourself more,” Ava says firmly.
Payton adds, “And there’s this party this weekend.”
Ava continues, “Perfect. You’re going to get dressed up, have fun, and remind yourself that there’s a whole world of guys out there who won’t make you miserable.”
“Wolf Boy’s going to be there,” Payton adds with a small smile. “Maybe you can help me figure out if he’s worth the hype.”
“See? New experiences, new people.” Ava claps her hands together. “Trust me, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”
I bury my face in my knees. “I don’t want to get under someone else.”
“Then don’t,” Ava says, her voice softer now. “But at least stop letting my brother use you as his emotional security blanket. You deserve someone who wants to be with you, not someone who only appreciates you when he’s afraid of losing you.”
The words hit harder than I expect. Because that’s exactly what this feels like. I’m his safety net while he figures out how to be a better person.
“Come on,” Payton says, moving to sit beside me on the bed. “Let’s plan what you’re wearing Saturday. Something that makes you feel good and powerful like you don’t need him.”
“And hot,” Ava adds. “So hot that every guy at that party wishes he could take you home.”
I look between them. These two strong women who both walked away from relationships that were suffocating them. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I need to stop waiting for Zeke to change and start focusing on changing myself.
“Okay,” I say quietly.
Ava shakes her head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel so much better about breaking up with Willy now, it’s kind of funny. I’m seeing it from a third person perspective, and no offense, Kara, but I will not make your mistake.”
I try not to cry, and if they can tell I am on the verge, they don’t mention it because they move to my closet and start looking through my clothes, chatting with each other.
