Page 125 of Claiming the Pack's Omega
“Again, you have nothing to apologize for. Helping omegas, especially omegas like you, is the reason I spent years working to become a doctor when, quite frankly, I didn’t need to. It’s because I wanted to. Almost desperately, if we’re being honest.” She reaches over and squeezes my hand again, offering me a soft, reassuring smile. “How’re you feeling? This is big news.”
“Fucking terrified,” I say, staring up at the ceiling. I feel my throat closing as an impending sense of doom seems to claw its way up from the depths of my gut.
“Why is that?”
“I—I’m not like you,” I say, my brows drawing down. “No offense.”
“None taken.”
“I—I’m not the kind of omega that a pack like the Graylock Pack would go for, you know?”
“Because you’re from the Southside?”
“Yes. No. Maybe?” I shake my head. “They don’t really seem to care about that, I don’t think, but if they were to go after a Southside omega, wouldn’t they want someone more like Luna? She’s all soft and sweet and I’m—” I wave my hands down at myself. “I’m not. I know some of Luna’s past. She wasforcedto do the things she had to do. I... I chose to, you know?”
“Has the Graylock Pack given you any indication they judge you for your past?”
I swallow hard, trying to clear the lump in my throat.
“No, but—but they don’t know everything. What if when they find out they realize I’m too much? That they don’t want to deal with someone like me? Someone with as much fucked up baggage as me?”
“That’s an awful heavy what if,” Charlotte murmurs, continuing to hold my hand.
“That’s an awful doctor like thing for you to say.” I let out a bitter laugh that makes me feel pathetic, with how strained my voice sounds. “You’re not going to tell me I’m crazy?”
Her expression grows more serious as her blue eyes dart between mine.
“No, I’d never tell you that you’re crazy. I can think that I don’t believe the Graylock Pack would do that to you, but I’d never say that you’re crazy for feeling the way that you do. Only you know where that comes from, what thing in your past taught you that you have to be on guard all the time, fearing the commitment and intimacy of a scent match.”
I purse my lips, fighting the tremble in my bottom lip as I stare right back at her.
“I—I was betrayed before. By someone I loved. Sure, you could probably call it stupid puppy love, but he was the first person I ever loved and it tore my fucking heart out,” I whisper. “I can’tfucking imaginewhat it would be feel like to be betrayed by my scent matches. Because I can feel it, already. The idea that maybe I could love them. Love them so much more than the guy I loved before. And that—and that?—”
I shake my head, trying to shake away the burn of tears threatening to spill out and ruin my makeup.
“That must be terrifying," she murmurs.
“It is,” I whisper. “It’s so scary. I don’t know if I’d be able to survive something like that. I’ve stayed strong for so long. I—I don’t want tohaveto be strong anymore.”
“Oh, Reyna,” Charlotte says. “You don’t have to go through things alone anymore.”
“I—I wasn’t alone, I had—I had my family.”
“Of course, but you strike me as the kind of young woman who didn’t let them in to support her because you didn’t want to burden them. Am I wrong?”
I lose the war between my wobbling bottom lip as it trembles.
“No,” I say, shaking my head sadly. “You’re right.”
I cling to her hand, almost desperately. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this small, this conflicted, this useless, before. And all because I’m being confronted with what other omegas spend their entire lives dreaming about.
“What—what happens now?”
“Well, that’s the magic of you being here today. It’s truly up to you. There are some things I’d recommend as your doctor, especially after we test some of your hormone levels and get the results from those suppressants, but when it comes to exploring things with the Graylock Pack, all of that is up to you.”
“Do I—do I have to tell them now?”
“When you tell them, just like everything else, is up to you," she says, patting the back of my hand. “What I do have to say is that there will come a point where they’ll be able to tell. I assume those were the last of your suppressants?”
