Page 26 of Comeback
“I’m sorry,” I said. “He never hit you, did he?”
“No, but he’d raise his hand like he surewantedto. I always told myself that I’d leave him the day he laid a hand on me … but I don’t know. I always had this belief that he’d be a great man, a great father, if he’d only stop drinking.” Her chest rose and fell with a heavy sigh. “But then, one day,he was pulled over for a DUI. With two-year-old Mackenzie in the car. He blew twice the legal limit.”
My fist clenched. “Are you kidding me?”
“I wish I was. He ended up doing a year for child endangerment, among other charges. AndIwent through hell with the courts. They wanted to take Mackenzie away from me—and I had to fight tooth and nail to prove I was a competent mother to be able to keep her. In the end, Trevor’s parental rights were terminated, and I got to keep her.” She let out a breath of relief. “Thank God. That entire incident was a nightmare … but I guess it was the wake-up call I needed. Obviously, I broke it off with him.”
“Jesus. Is that when you moved to Bayfield?”
She shook her head. “No. That happened later. When Trevor went to jail, I moved into my own apartment. But the same day he was released from jail, he showed up at my apartment door. He banged on the door and tried to kick it in, screaming that I couldn’t keep Mack away from him—as if the court had nothing to do with it. I couldsmellthe liquor on his breath through the door. One second he’d be angrily threatening to kill me and promising no one would find the body … the next second, he’d be sobbing and begging me to take him back, that he’d treat me like a queen.”
“Damn,” I grumbled. “He sounds bad, Emma.”
“Yeah. I was scared out of my mind. He just would not go away.” She shook her head. “I still have nightmares about it. I can still hear him screaming, ‘Open up! Daddy’s home!’ ”
I watched Mackenzie run around the playground. She chased after fireflies, hopping through the air and trying to catch them. I couldn’t believe someone could be so damnedstupidto throw it all away.
“How’d you get rid of him?” I asked.
“I had to call the cops. They hauled him off to jail again. The very next day, I got a restraining order against him. But my apartment didn’t feel safe anymore—I didn’t even know how he’d found me. That’s when I called Nicole and she invited me to stay with her. Thank God, Trevor isn’t allowed to know where we’re at now.”
I was speechless. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“Don’t feel sorry for me. I can handle it. It’s Mack that I worry about.” She sighed heavily. “The night Trevor showed up? It was her fourth birthday, Jack. She was so excited to wear her birthday dress. It’s pink, with an elephant print.”
“The kids menu,” I said, my throat squeezing shut. “She colored her elephant pink and said it was her birthday.”
“She sure did,” she said, her face heavy with sadness and guilt. “And I don’t think that was a coincidence. It breaks my heart, Jack …”
“Maybe she should see someone? A professional, I mean?”
“She is. Once every other week, I take her to see a child psychologist in Sarnia. She says the selective mutism is most likely just a phase, and that Mack probably won’t have any memories of that night. It’s that whole ‘most likely’ part that has me worried.”
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
“You want to know what’sreallyawful?” she asked, her eyes catching mine.
“What?”
“My father was just like Trevor. Always drunk, always angry. I had to walk on eggshells around him. Ihatedhim, and yet, deep down … I still loved him. Because he’s my father.” She shook her head. “That’s why I knew I had to get Mackenzie the hell away from Trevor.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want her to end up like me, Jack. I don’t want to doom her to a life of trying to love an asshole who can’t love her back. I’m stopping the cycle. It ends with her.”
I gulped. “Wow.”
She shot a glance at me. “You probably think I’m crazy.”
“Not at all. A lot of people would be wrecked by what you’ve been through, but you’re trying to make the best of it. You’re doing the best you can, for you and your daughter.” I laid my hand on her shoulder. “You’re a great mother. It’s obvious.”
A silence came between us. Suddenly, she laughed.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“I was supposed to find out more aboutyou,and here I am, blabbering away about my whole life story.”
Could I tell her? After what she’d been through, my story didn’t seem like a big deal. She’d been through hell and back.
