Page 68 of Comeback
“Damn,” Dane bellowed. “Then what happened?”
I shook my head. “Then … then I killed him.”
Dane and Reavo looked at me, then each other, then me again.
“Wha’?” Reavo asked.
“I killed him, boys.”
Dane arched an eyebrow. “The fuck are you saying, Hath?”
“It’s my fault he drove that night. I told him he was dead to me, that I never wanted to see him again. I told him if he didn’t want me to tell the rest of the boys then he better fucking disappearrealquick and never come back, because I wouldn’t be able to look at him and think ofanythingbut him screwing Megan. I told him he wasn’t playing in the Finals—that he better fake some kind of injury and convince the trainers he couldn’t play.” I took a deep breath. “Then I told him to get the fuck out of my house. Even though I knew he was in no condition to drive. He told me he was sorry one last time. Wished us good luck in the Finals and told me to go get that Cup. Then he left.”
The boys blinked at me.
“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t know if he meant to crash his car or not. Some days, I think he did. Other days, I think it really was an accident. Either way, I gotta live with that for the rest of my life—his death is on my hands.” I sighed. “That night haunts the shit out of me.”
The boys grumbled in unison.
Reavo stood, clapped his hand on my back, and gave me a hug. “It’s not your damn fault, man.”
“Yeah, dude. I would’ve reacted a lot worse, trust me.” Dane joined him, and the three of us hugged. “You didn’t make him drive. He could’ve taken a cab like everyone else.”
“But why didn’t you just tell us?” Reavo asked. “We would’ve been there for you, man.”
I told him how hard it was, how many conflicting emotions I had at the time. How everyone was mourning Soupy and talking about him like he was the greatest guy who ever lived while I was still fuming about the fact that he’d been sleeping with Megan. That I was trying to understand how to live with the guilt that I might’ve gotten Soupy killed.
“I had no idea what to do,” I muttered. “I still don’t. My life was kinda falling apart, day by day … until I met Emma.” I pulled out that stone that Nicole had given me. I turned it around, studying the green and red flecks, remembering Emma’s beautiful eyes. “God. Listen to me. I only met her a few days ago. But I won’t lie. Ever since then, that’s the first time I’ve started to feel like life might have a purpose again.”
Dane chuckled. “You like her, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I grumbled. “It doesn’t matter now anyway.”
“Why not?”
I pocketed the stone and told the boys about our fight. That she didn’t see me as a good role model to raise her daughter around because all I’d do was teach her to run from her problems.
“I can’t even blame her, either,” I added, shaking my head. “She’s right. I’ve been running for so goddamn long. It’s getting old.”
“Stop running, then,” Reavo said. “Come back to Dallas, man.”
“We need you, bud,” Dane chimed in.
“It could never happen,” I said. “How could the rest of the boys ever trust me after I ran off like that?”
“Uh,” Dane butted in, “you have a pretty good reason for why you took off. All you have to do is tell them.”
“Nah.” I shook my head. “I can’t do that. Not because I’m embarrassed, either. I just want Soupy to rest in peace. I want it to be over.”
Dane pursed his lips. “Hm …”
Reavo nodded. “You’re a better man than me.”
“But you see my point, right? If I don’t give them an explanation, the guys will never forgive me.”
“Who cares. You’re one of the top centers in the league,” Dane said. “The day you walk onto the team, we’re instantly better. And look, if anyone in the locker room has any problems with that, I’ll make sure they’re taken care of.”
I gestured at Dane. “He turned out to be a good captain, didn’t he, Reavo?”
