Page 101 of Good Vibes Only
“Good morning, boys,” the captain said over the PA. Well aware he was rousing twenty-some exhausted athletes, he announced our descent in a soft-spoken hush. “We are two hundred miles outside of Las Vegas, where it’s a crisp sixty degrees at one in the morning . . .”
Guess I did fall asleep, after all,I thought, forcing my groggy eyes open.
I yawned, uprighted my seat, and peeked at my phone. No texts. But I did have an email in my inbox. I opened the app and saw an unread email from McKayla, sent roughly at ten o’clock, Las Vegas time.
The subject read, “The Showstopper.”
Huh?I was sure it was about the business—Mac always emailed BarDown stuff to me instead of texting it—I just didn’t know what “showstopper” was referring to.
I opened the email.
The tagline of her review read,“The aptly named Showstopper will give your evening a climactic end … if you manage to resist the urge for an encore, that is.”
My heart skipped a happy beat. After reading that very first line, I knewexactlywhat this was—and I couldn’t stop smiling as I continued to read.
McKayla’s fictional review began:
“Confession time: ultra-realistic dildos have always given me a bit of the ick. The flesh tone has never done it for me. Nor do I need all those veins, the gross balls, or the creepy feeling in the back of my mind that I’m holding somebody’s disembodied anatomy.
Well, that all changed the moment I got my hands on BarDown Toys’ first foray into the wonderful world of adult toys. Meet the gorgeous Showstopper. Cast your eyes upon perfection in silicone form—and the cause of countless sleepless nights over my last week.”
I chuckled quietly. McKayla had taken pictures of the dildo, just like she would for any other review she was writing, which she pasted into the email. Seeing those pictures was kinda weird but kinda cool all at the same time—because it reallydidlook like mine, down to the tiniest detail.
“Damn. That is one mouthwatering dick. Big, broad and beautiful.
This is, I believe, the prettiest penis to ever walk the earth. Well, he’s not walking yet—and hopefully he never learns, because if he does, I’ll have to handcuff him to my bed to make sure he never gets away.”
The handcuff reference had me snickering.
“Allegedly, though, there exists a man walking around with a Showstopper in his pants; that’s right, the reps at BarDown Toys told me that Showstopper was modeled on a real, living human being.
But make no mistake, there’s nothing realistic about Showstopper’s size. Measuring over 9” long, Showstopper has the length to hit pleasure zones so deep, you never even knew they existed. A delicious 6” girth will test your limits as it fills you up and gives you a toe-curling stretch.
But Showstopper’s crown jewel is its large and sculpted head. That thing is like a heat-seeking missile for your G-spot; it goes RIGHT FOR IT with every single stroke, in and out. Now, I’ve never been a big-time squirter … but with the constant pressure of Showstopper’s thick head rubbing against my G-spot, I squirt almost every single time I use it.”
“Damn,” I muttered beneath my breath. Her review was making me so hard, my cock ached between my thighs.
“Big, thick and heavy, the Showstopper feels unreal in your hands. It feels so unreal, in fact, I began to doubt the story the toy reps had fed me—but when pressed on the issue, BarDown Toys insisted that, yes, this cock truly does indeed belong to one very blessed man. Rumor has it, they told me with a wink, he’s also apparently a figure of some noted fame—an actor, musician, or athlete, perhaps? They wouldn’t say.
Do I believe them, or did they just jump the shark with that last too-good-to-be-true detail? I’m not sure. I know Iwantto believe them—if nothing else because my inner idealist wants to believe that, somewhere, the perfect man is out there waiting for me.”
I laughed. I loved the pretend story she’d concocted about the toy. She was so creative and funny.
She concluded the review by saying:
“Whether or not the perfect man truly exists, I’m not sure. But I do know this is theperfectdildo, the end-all be-all. I don’t have a need to reach for any other toys, nor do I want to.
If somebody told me the Showstopper was the only dick I could have for the rest of my life? Lemme tell ya … I’d be just fine with that.”
I laughed out loud.
My girlfriend was so amazing; I was totally blown away. She’d turned me on, made me laugh,andmanaged to make my heart swell with thoughts like,She might be the one.
I glanced out the window. We were drifting lower, closer to Vegas, butdamn,I just wanted to be back on the ground so I could get back to McKayla.
Looking back at my phone, I scrolled to the beginning of her review and read the whole thing over again, a smile on my face.
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