Page 45 of Good Vibes Only
“Really?” I had a hard time believing it. They’d always been cool with me. “I’ll give it a try. They might listen to me since I’m the one signing their checks.”
Her face lightened with a smile. “Really? You don’t mind?”
“Not at all. Gimme a sec, I’ll go talk to them, and then we can go out to eat.”
“Thank you, Brett.”
* * *
Determined, I left McKayla’s and went next door to BarDown. The windows were covered with paper, so no one saw me coming. No one heard me enter, either—it was, after all, something of a construction site inside. One worker fed lumber through a jobsite table saw, which screamed and threw dust into the air as it ripped one board after another. A couple other workers busily hammered two-by-fours, framing the brewing room.
“YO!” I yelled and whistled, but I was competing with power tools and a blaring radio on top of it all, and they didn’t hear me. “YO! HEY, GUYS!”
I spotted the guy with the big beard and went to him. He cut the radio, whistled, and work came to a stop as everyone gathered around. I asked for an update and made a little small talk with them before I cut to the chase.
“Listen, guys. I’ve had a couple complaints from next door about the noise. Is there anything we can do about the noise? Anything at all.”
“Oh, lemme guess,” the bushy beard guy snickered. “It was the vibrator girl again, right? She comes over here every couple days to bitch at us.”
“Not that we mind, heh heh,”one of his underlings muttered.
“That’s one hot piece of ass,”another said.
Well, I didn’t like the way they saidanyof that.
“I was just over there to hear it for myself,” I said. “And she’s right. It’s crazy loud. And it’s all day long. If I were in her shoes, I’d complain, too.”
“Hey, I get it,” the bearded foreman said.
And for a second, I thought we’d reached an understanding. But then he kept talking.
“If a honey like that got in my ear, I’d do whatever the hell she asked, too. Because youknowthe sex is gonna be wild.”
His crew hooted with laughter.
“Man-oh-man, can you imagine the crazy shit she’d be pulling out of her nightstand drawer?!”
“Makin’ you feel all inadequate when she surprises you with a three-foot-long dildo!”
“Hey, as long as she’s not tryin’ to shove that monster insideme, I’m all for it!”
The dynamic among this group was a lot like a hockey locker room, for better or worse.
“Yeah, ha ha, that’s funny,” I said once the laughter died down. “But can we be serious for a moment, boys? I’m honestly asking if there’s something, anything, we can do to cut down on the noise.”
The foreman put his hands on his hips, his smile straining. “I wouldn’t worry about it, chief. We’re not doing anything that’s going to get you fined or any kind of trouble.”
“I’m not worried about legal trouble. I’m worried about being a shitty neighbor. It’s bad for business when everyone in the neighborhood already hates you before you’ve even opened.”
“You’re right. Maybe weshouldturn the noise down.” He whistled to get the attention of one of his crew members. “Hey, Johnny! Do me a favor, will ya? Find the volume knob on that table saw and crank it all the way down to zero.”
The crew busted up with laughter.
“There’s no such thing,” the foreman said with a wink.
“Yeah. I got the joke.” I folded my arms. “So that’s it, huh? You can’t even do something symbolic, like agree to turn the radio down? You’re just gonna be a dick instead?”
“Look, chief, I don’t do symbolism. You want this place to open? We’re gonna have to make some noise. But hey, ifyou decide you’d rather not open, then just say the word and I can tell my crew to quit working right now. It’s your business. You tell me what you wanna do with it.” He paused, giving me an opportunity to fire them, I guess. When I didn’t take him up on the offer, he whistled at his crew,“Back to work!”and work resumed as before.
