Page 19 of Yours to Lose
Jordan’s gaze trails to the window of one of the paleontology labs that line the hall. It’s empty except for the small dinosaur skeleton mid-assembly on the worktable. “I used to,” he says quietly, staring into the lab. “Not so much anymore.”
I nod, almost certain Jordan just gave me a piece of himself he has never given to anyone. I make a silent promise to him to keep it safe. “So, you ready for this?”
Jordan shoves his hands in his pockets in what seems to be his favoriteI don’t know what to do with myselfmove and turns back to me. “I don’t know what exactly I’m supposed to be ready for, but sure, why not?”
I grin at him. “Good answer.”
Taking a step back, I grasp the handle of a heavy metal door, turn it, and push the door open, stepping backwards into the dark room and motioning for Jordan to follow. When the door shuts behind us, the room turns pitch black without the light filtering in from the hallway.
I pause for maximum effect.
“Uh, is this the part where you murder me in the museum basement and shove my body into a closet with discarded dinosaur bones or something?”
I gasp, absolutely delighted by him. “Jordan Wyles, did you just make a joke? I didn’t know you did that.”
“Dark humor seems about all I’m capable of these days.” In the darkness of the room, his voice sounds even deeper, and I can’t deny that it does something to my insides, especially since, even with my eyes slightly adjusted to the dark, all I can make out is Jordan’s very dim, very tall silhouette. For a brief second it feels like maybe we’re the only people in the world.
“Listen, dark humor is still humor, and don’t ever let anyone tell you it isn’t. Now, are you ready for the show?”
“Why the fuck not?” Jordan’s voice comes from my right.
Feeling along the wall with my hand, I find the light switch and flick it up.
Dim light fills the room and Jordan blinks, letting out a low whistle as his eyes rove the space. “What is this place?”
I grin at him, following his gaze, imagining seeing this all for the very first time. “It’s the storage room for the specimens that aren’t currently being displayed in the Hall of Minerals and Gems upstairs.”
The room has a long table that spans the length of one wall, and floor to ceiling glass display cases are along the other three walls. The table and the display cases are filled with minerals and gems in all colors, forms, and shapes. Each one of them individually would be spectacular, but all together in this small space, they take my breath away. The overhead light is low, but the lights inside the cases highlight each rock in a soft golden glow. This room is high on theJo’s Favorite Thingslist.
“The museum has about thirteen hundred specimens of rocks and minerals on display at any given time, but there are thousands more. Some of them are fragile and require special storage and handling, but the ones that don’t live in here until they’re rotated into the exhibit.”
Jordan turns to me, his eyes brighter than they were outside. I love to see it. “How did you find it?”
I shrug, giving him a little smile. “I’m curious by nature, and I’ve seenNight at the Museumtoo many times to count. When I first started working here, I would take breaks and go exploring. One of my sojourns led me here. It’s technically off limits, but I got a peek inside while someone was opening the door, and I was a goner. It’s the combination of science and sparkles, you know? Gets me every time. Anyway, I made friends with the curator of the Minerals and Gems exhibit, so now I get to come here whenever I want.”
“I bet you could make friends with anyone.” Jordan looks at me with those blue eyes and I get the sudden, very strange feeling of being well and truly seen. It’s unusual but not at all unpleasant.
“Almost anyone,” I say, glancing around and focusing on my favorite gem—the one that looks like it was tie dyed every color of the rainbow. “Women my own age tend not to like me very much. I’m a lot.”
“Does that bother you?” Jordan’s gaze still hasn’t left me, but his eyes don’t hold any judgment, only curiosity.
I shrug. “Honestly, it used to. Socially, high school was a bitch and college wasn’t much better. But now? Not so much. I like who I am. I’m not interested in changing anything about myself, so anyone who wants me to just isn’t worth my time. Life is good, you know? I have Hallie and Hannah, and they’re my best friends. Hallie gave me two babies to snuggle whenever I want, and I have a job I love more every single day.”
“Must be nice,” Jordan mumbles, sinking onto the upholstered bench in the middle of the room. The one I dragged all the way down here a couple years ago so I didn’t have to sit on the floor when I wanted to spend some time with my rocks.
I drop down next to him, swinging around so I can sit cross-legged, facing him. “You don’t like your job?”
Jordan blows out a breath, eyes fixed on the case of minerals in front of us, legs spread and elbows on his denim-clad knees, hands clasped between his legs. It’s unfair, honestly, how attractive he is. That’s just fact. “It’s fine, I guess. It’s just a little monotonous. Same shit, different day.”
I reach into my bag and come up with a couple Fireballs, keeping one for myself and handing one to him. Just like the other night, he stares at it for a minute before unwrapping it and popping it in his mouth. I get the sense Jordan doesn’t talk about himself, almost ever, so I tread lightly, even though I’m dying to ask him if he’s bored because he misses working with kids. I sure would if I were him, but I also understand the reason why he switched. Going to work every day with Allie’s memory everywhere would have been impossible. “I mean, you literally cut people open for a living. That doesn’t seem monotonous.”
When he talks, it’s like he’s talking to the rocks, unused to making eye contact with someone while he has a conversation. Maybe even unused to having a conversation at all. “General surgery is not all that glamorous. It’s the same few surgeries, over and over again, with the occasional complex case thrown in, but not enough to keep it interesting.”
“Ah,” I say, nodding my head, voice sober. “I get it. You’re an adrenaline junkie.”
Jordan huffs out a noise that sounds so perilously close to a laugh that I grin wide. “Laughing looks good on you.”
He sobers so instantly that it’s comical, but I swear I can see one side of his mouth hitch up just a little. Suddenly my entire goal in life is to get Jordan to laugh again, but for real. “That wasn’t a laugh. It was an exasperated sigh because talking about my job is boring.”
