Page 67 of Just My Type
I run a thumb down her cheek, needing to touch her. To remind myself that she’s here and she’s safe. She’ll stay that way; I’ll make sure of it. I would burn down the entire world for her. “Take your time, Han. I’m ready to listen to whatever you want to tell me.”
She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, her eyes meeting mine. “Obviously you know Brett was…not a good guy. I didn’t realize it at first. When we got together, things were good. Really good, even. We had fun, met each other’s families, moved in together, and I thought he was my future. But then I started writing. At first, it was just a fun hobby. An outlet for me and an escape from my boring as hell corporate job. But I realized pretty quickly that I was good at it, and I loved it. It took me practically no time to write my first book, and then the stars aligned in exactly the right way, and I went viral. Like, major, mega viral.”
I almost tell her I know, but that’s for another time. This is about her. I just give her an encouraging smile, my heart thudding when she takes my hand and squeezes, like it’s my comfort she needs to get through this story.
I’ll give it to her. I would give her anything. All of me is hers.
Hannah laughs a little, almost like she still can’t believe it happened to her. “It happened so fast—practically overnight—and it was batshit crazy. I loved every minute of it. Having people read my words, talk about my book on social media, message me how much it meant to them…it was incredible. It is incredible. But as more people read my first book, and then the ones that came later, my relationship started cracking. It was such a slow progression that I almost didn’t notice it at first. Brett would make little comments about how I never had time for him, how I was always so busy. He belittled romance. But he did it all so…slyly almost. Always with a smile, so it was hard for me to even convince myself that he was actually being an asshole. Classic gaslighter behavior. Then came the day of Allie’s funeral. What you saw at the bar.”
Hannah’s hand tightens around mine and I take her other hand too, rubbing a thumb over her palm. “That was the first time he was outwardly cruel. The first time he ever…touched me like that.” She swallows hard and shakes her head. “I should have told him to go to hell that night and never spoken to him again. You must have wondered why I didn’t. I wonder all the time why I didn’t, and honestly, I don’t have a good answer. Looking back, that’s a giant, waving red flag, but I hung in there. For years.”
“Han, you don’t owe me or anyone an explanation. When I saw you that night at the bar, I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. You took a swipe at me and told me you didn’t need saving, and I was a goner. That’s what I was thinking about that night.”
She laughs a little. “You were not.”
I lean in and kiss her neck, breathing her in. “I was. There you were, all swinging ponytail and narrowed eyes and spine ofsteel. There wasn’t a single day after that I didn’t think of you, and now here you are, in my bed, wearing my T-shirt and looking like mine, and no person on earth has ever been luckier than I am.”
Hannah looks away, shifting like that made her uncomfortable. “I couldn’t even have sex with you without freaking out.”
I put a hand on her cheek, turning her head so she’s looking at me again. “Don’t hide from me, Han. There’s no part of you that you ever have to hide from me. We’ll figure it out. All of it. I swear we will. If you want to be mine, for real, there’s nothing we can’t fix.”
Hannah leans into my hand. “I do,” she whispers. “Want to be yours. For real.”
My heart charges right out of my chest at her words, and I have to stop myself from tackling her to the bed and kissing every inch of her body. “Really?” I ask, needing to hear her say the words again.
Hannah smiles. “I mean, I’m already your accidental wife, so I guess I might as well be yours for real.”
“Fuck yeah, you are.” I take her face in my hands and kiss her, soft and slow and full of promise, smiling against her lips when she sighs against me.
When she pulls back, she takes my hands again. “But you might not want that after I finish.”
“Hannah. There is nothing you could tell me that would make me want you any less. Every single word out of your mouth just makes me want you more. I swear it. Tell me the rest, baby. Your story is safe with me.”
Hannah’s eyes go shiny, but her lips curve in a small smile. “I know. I’ve never told anyone this before. Not even my sisters. It feels right that you know first.”
I love you.
The words bubble up in my chest, and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from blurting them out. Instead, I squeeze her hand as she keeps talking.
“After the night at the bar, it was more of the same for a long time. He never hurt me physically, but it was like the more well known I got, the more opportunities that came my way, the worse he got. Almost like my success made him feel inferior or something.”
“Weak ass manchild,” I mutter, and Hannah laughs. The sound is sunshine.
“Accurate. My writing made it easier for me to ignore his behavior. I would retreat into my books, and when I wasn’t writing, I was reading, and it was almost like I was in another world. That made it easier to deal with his shit. I shouldn’t have stayed. It was a mistake to stay, but I did. And if he hadn’t done the thing that finally woke me up, I might still be there with him. I might never have found the courage to leave. I guess maybe part of me didn’t think there was anything better out there for me. That I would never find what Hallie has with Ben or what Jo has with Jordan. That maybe I was destined to write about it, but never really, truly experience it for myself.”
I want to tell her that she did find it. That it’s right here. That what’s between us is enormous and important and unbreakable. But when she looks at me with emotion swirling in her eyes, I think maybe—just maybe—she already knows.
“Thank you for listening to me. For letting me tell you a long meandering story to build myself up to what I really need to tell you.”
God, this woman. She really has no idea. “Gorgeous, if you wanted to read me the phone book I would listen. I love hearing the sound of your voice. Take as much time as you need. I’m not going anywhere. Ever, Han.”
She scoots closer to me and presses her lips to mine, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I’m crazy about you, it turns out.”
I feel my smile spread. “Well now that’s the best news I’ve heard all day.”
She kisses me again and then pulls back. “I’m ready to tell you the rest now.”
I nod, taking her hands back in mine, feeling them shake slightly with her nerves. “I’m listening.”
