Page 72 of Just My Type
“Do what, exactly?”
Noah grins at me and pauses dramatically. “Primal scream.”
I snort out a laugh. “I think I need more information.”
Noah laughs too, wrapping his arms around my waist and tugging me closer to him. “It’s simple, really. You stand here in the dark, spread your arms wide, and scream as loud as you can up to the sky. Then, if it feels good, you do it again. And again. As many times as you want. I know it won’t take your angeraway, or erase what Brett did to you, but for one night, at the most sacred time, you can let it out. Anytime you feel like your anger is about to boil over, you tell me, and we’ll come here. Some people ride at dawn. You and me? We scream at midnight.”
I’m about to tell him that this is the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever heard, but he’s looking down at me with the cutest, most earnest look on his face, and to be honest, the idea of screaming my rage to the midnight sky holds a weird sort of appeal. I shrug, pressing my hands to his chest. “Okay, I’ll do it.”
“Fuck yeah, that’s my girl!” Noah leans in and smacks a kiss to my cheek. “This is going to be so awesome.”
Chuckling at his enthusiasm, I push him away a little. “Some space for my scream, please. I have a lot of rage to expel. I think I’ll need some room.”
Beaming at me, Noah takes a few giant steps back, running a hand through his tousled hair then spreading his arms wide. “On three?”
I nod at him, strangely anxious all of a sudden. “On three.”
“One.” Noah’s face turns serious, his eyes sparkling with intensity under the night sky.
“Two.” My voice is a little shaky, my stomach churning with nerves for no good reason at all.
“You’re the most powerful woman in the world. Let it out, Gorgeous. Three.”
I tear my eyes away from Noah’s for a moment that feels like it’s mine and mine alone. Spreading my arms wide, I tip my head to the starry sky, take a deep breath, and let it rip. My scream shatters the silent night, and it takes me a second to realize that the feral sound is coming from me. It rises up from the deepest depths of me and flies straight into midnight.
The lock on the box inside me where I shove the feelings I don’t want to feel comes blasting off, and it all comes pouring out. Everyyou fed the cat, rightandwhat did we get my mom for her birthdayandwhat’s for dinneranddo we have coffeeandthe laundry basket is full. Every doctor’s appointment I scheduledfor him and all the things I looked for because he couldn’t find them himself and every time I abandoned something of mine to help him with something of his. Every moment he made me feel small and every time he tore me down to make himself feel big. Every day I thought he was all I deserved. My seething resentment and being too afraid to ask for what I needed because I knew the answer would be no. My towering insecurities, and the man who stoked them. A cat I hated. A house I hated. A relationship I hated. A life I hated. A man I hated. Trapped as he held my hands above my head and took and took and took pieces of me that I didn’t want to give. Fake smiles. Manufactured cheer. Secrets from the people who love me most. Months of words I couldn’t write.
I scream and scream and scream some more until my throat is hoarse and aching and my shoulders snap back, my spine straight, my chin tipped up and head held high.
And then.
A city I love. An apartment that feels like it was made for me. My sisters. My friends. A family that makes me feel like theirs. A place that doesn’t feel temporary at all. Fifty thousand words on a page and plans for fifty thousand more. The man who somehow knew exactly what I needed and gave it to me, without asking for anything in return.
The man.
Lowering my gaze from the sky, it lands on Noah, and he’s looking right back at me. Soft smile on his face. Eyes for me and me alone. Sparkling pools of blue filled with feelings I can’t parse. Feelings my head doesn’t understand but that speak the language of my heart.
Mine.
I’m in motion before my brain realizes I’m moving. Eight steps and I fling myself at Noah, and he catches me. Arms around his neck and legs around his waist, holding tight, never wanting to let go. His solid body and woodsy scent. The stubble on his jaw against my cheek. The warmth of his neck where Ibury my face. His arms tight around me. Always, always tight around me as his thumb taps three times on my back. I tap twice on his, and I’m home.
“Thank you,” I whisper, my voice raspy from the scream.
He kisses my head and I’m warm everywhere. “Anything for you, Han. I would do literally anything for you.”
The words are simple. The words are everything.
And for the first time in a long time, under the midnight sky, I’m at peace.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
NOAH
“Ilike the symmetry of the Oreos and peanut butter,” Hannah says, digging an Oreo into the peanut butter jar. “I don’t know why, but for some reason it feels appropriate that this is the snack we had during our first late night on the roof, and now we’re having it again. It’s ridiculously sentimental of you.”
I smile, pressing a kiss to her knee. I’m sprawled out on my stomach on the blanket we spread on the ground, while Hannah sits, legs stretched out in front of her, devouring our midnight snack. “I’m a sentimental kind of guy. And it feels appropriate because you wanted me so badly that night and now you get to have me. Like bookends.”
I give her an innocent smile, and she laughs. “Want to try that again, my guy?”
