Page 62 of Defending the Post
“Erin, stop playing with me. You waited until I got on the road and now, you’re too busy,” I said.
I paced the floor in my suite, heated that I couldn’t get to L.A.
“I have to work, Marquise. I don’t have millions of dollars in my checking account stashed away,” she said.
“Excuses. You can’t direct a photo shoot and talk to me at the same time? Tell Jhae you need to go home,” I said.
This sixteen game road trip had already pissed me the fuck off. Going from having a warm body underneath you to an empty bed had me on edge. Erin had been moving funny for two days with this “I’m at work” bullshit and not wanting to kiss me before I left. She was too worried about Jhae and Malcolm instead of me.
“Marquise, I’m not doing that. We can talk after the game. I promise I’ll watch and wait up to talk,” she said.
“Oh, I have to wait a few hours to talk to my woman,” I said.
“Can you calm down? Please go to treatment for the game and I promise to wait up,” she said.
“Bye Erin,” I said and hung-up mid-conversation.
I flopped on the couch scrolling through my phone searching for something or someone. My thumb hovered over Camille’s name, but I couldn’t push the button.
Weirdo
Did you hang up on me? Boy fuck you. Don’t call me tonight.
Instant regret draped my shoulders. Erin did not play about me hanging up. Once she said boy fuck you, she meant that shit. My anger converted into begging.
Me
Baby I’m sorry.
Me
Baby.
“Your abandonment issues are showing,” Malcolm voiced from the opposite side of the room with folded arms. The last thing I needed was him preaching to me about my trauma. I punched the call button on Erin’s name, but she sent me to voicemail.
“Fuck,” I said through gritted teeth.
Malcolm migrated across the room, sitting next to me. Without thinking, we propped the same leg on the coffee table. Sometimes being a twin was awkward.
“Bro, you got to deal with your issues. You’re trying to trap her on the phone with you because you’re scared,” he said.
I shifted my head in his direction, unable to find a response because he was right. Long road trips had now become a new source of anxiety for me. I couldn’t monitor Erin’s whereabouts and, I dare say, control her location being miles away.
“She isn’t going anywhere bro, but you gon’ run her off with this bullshit you pulling.”
I rubbed my forehead, as the shock of losing her covered me. Damn, I was fucking this up. This was probably the reason I avoided relationships. I didn’t know the playbook. My issues were bleeding into my communication with Erin.
“Bro, she wouldn’t kiss me in front of you and Jhae. She is ashamed of what we are doing. It made me nervous and triggered my anxiety,” I said.
“What exactly are you two doing?” he questioned.
I sighed. “She thinks we’re friends, but I’m obsessed with her sexy ass. I’ve been blocking numbers left and right. I ain’t had sex in weeks. I told her she is my woman, but we haven’t discussed it again,” I said.
“Finally, my older brother is in love,” he said.
“What!”
“Marquise, everything about you changed. Your entire world has revolved around Erin. Blocking women, weeks without sex, kissing a woman in the mouth, demanding quality time. You’re doing it without effort because you want to. Erin is worth it. Hell, you are,” he said.
