Page 151 of Right Side of Paradise
Thatseemed to sober her. Her lashes fluttered almost comically as her mouth opened and closed.
Pushing my plate away from me, I angled my head, waiting for whatever she had to say next.
I was still waiting for the apology and was lowkey kinda scared thathadbeen her apology.
“You’re probably never gonna believe this,” she hedged, staring at her untouched coffee. “But when I lived in King’s Town right after college, I was seeing a guy I thought was the one.”
A nostalgic air took over her tone and I listened without interrupting.
“He knew I wanted to settle down here and promised me the world.” She shook her head, wringing her hands. “I should have known it was too good to be true, but I was young and so desperate for love I said it didn’t matter. I thought I was the exception to young love not having longevity.”
I watched her face morph into a mask of regret.
“We ended up taking a break when he started a new job across the state. He told me to come to Onyx Cove, and he’d come get me when he could give me the life I deserved.”
She glanced around like she was checking for eavesdroppers.
“Well, wouldn’t you know it, he showed up. A year and a half later. But he wasn’t alone.”
My ears perked up.
“What do you mean?”
“He was with another man.” She stopped wringing her hands and cast a faraway glance at the pastry display case. “And he had a proposition for me. He wanted all three of us to get to know each other and think about starting a life together.”
“Oh.”
“Exactly.” Her lips formed a line before she made eye contact with me. “I was distraught. Here comes the man I love, the one I wanted to start a life with, asking me to be in a relationship with two men at once.”
In all my thirty years, she’d never told me about any man before Brock. She was so tight-lipped about her past, I’d been left to believe he was her first love.
“Mom—” I tried to cut in.
“I only wantedhim,and he ruined that. It was supposed to be him. As my husband and the father of my children. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let myself be their plaything while the town whispered behind my back. All three of us went on one date before I broke it off. For good. Told them to go enjoy their life, but I wouldn’t be in it.”
The devil didn’t need any advocates, so I bit back what I wanted to ask and settled on the safe bet. “I’m sure that was hard for you.”
“It was.” She sniveled as if she was reliving it and I stuffed my mouth with a bite of my toast to hide a smile.
She shook her head again. “But I mean, it was the 90s. People were up to all kinds of things.”
Whatever that meant.
“Now here you go, telling me the same thing. God, this has to be my karma.”
“God,” I echoed her theatrical tone, but only for a beat. “You’re so dramatic.” I didn’t bother masking my irritation when I glared at her. “Your karma isn’t that you raised me to be a grown woman who can think for herself and pick partners who love herand show it. No, your karma is that you tried to shame me for making a choice you don’t agree with, and I don’t give a fuck.”
There were no pearls around her neck to clutch, but she gasped loud enough for the attendant behind the counter to shoot us a startled look.
With a shake of my head, I quieted her concern and stared at my mother flatly. “I’m still waiting for an apology, by the way. Because so far all you’ve done is center yourself in this conversation.”
“Harlow, I’m sorry.”
For two months, I told myself I needed those words. Needed her tomeanit. And while it did feel nice finally getting it, it didn’t create the shift I hoped for.
“I’m not minimizing what you experienced or how it made you feel, but it doesn’t justify being nasty to me. And it doesn’t mean you get to turn up your nose when someone lives life differently than you. Which is wild that I have to say that because that’s whatyouraised me to believe.”
Her gaze shifted to the tassel on her purse.
