Page 10 of What the Lady Wants
‘That sounds intriguing.’
‘I’d like to tell you about it. But I fear it will shock you.’
The Duchess burst out laughing in a most unladylike fashion. ‘I think you can hardly have heard the rumours about me! Did you not know that all the polite world is a buzz with the scandalous fact that Gabriel seduced me within a day of meeting me, and we were caught in flagrante delicto in his garden by the Archbishop of York?’
‘It sounds a little unlikely. I hardly think it can be true,’ Isabella said calmly.
‘Oh, it isn’t. The Archbishop didn’t come into it at all,’ said Georgiana wickedly, her bright blue eyes still sparkling with mirth and mischief. ‘In fact, the truth is much, much worse.’
‘Ohgood!’ Isabella replied with feeling. ‘Then Icantell you!’
‘Tell me instantly!’
They put their heads close together, the blonde and the black, and in a low tone, Isabella poured out all of it, or almost all: her complicated feelings after Ash’s death, and her plan. It was an exquisite, unexpected relief to share everything with anotherwoman. When she had done, her sister-in-law looked at her thoughtfully, betraying not the least appearance of disapproval, and said, ‘I do understand, I believe. You want something for yourself, to give you comfort. If you were a man, of course, and widowed and heart-broken, you could play the rake with half the women in England and very few people would have anything but sympathy for you. Perfectly respectable ladies of the ton would sigh sentimentally over your tragic story, and think it terribly romantic. You’d be besieged by women desperate to console you in any manner you chose. But because youarea woman, you must sit quietly at home and cry into your stitchery.’
‘Exactly so. But not too much,’ said Isabella with a trace of bitterness. ‘Just the approved amount. Excessive grief is also unwelcome. It makes people uncomfortable.’
‘It’s ridiculous. Who among us has not lost loved ones whom we will always mourn? Isabella, I hope I have time before we go to introduce you to my friend Jane Carston – she was at the ball, but I don’t think you are acquainted. She has strong views on a woman’s place in the world, and she’s very good at slipping below the notice of society in order to live the life she wants. I’m sure she would approve of your plan.’ Georgiana saw the expression on her guest’s face and interpreted it correctly. ‘I know – she knows too – that there has been a certain amount of gossip about her sudden marriage. But then there is always gossip when someone, when a woman in particular, does anything the least bit out of the ordinary. I think she will carry it off. I can’t tell you what she’s doing now, it’s not my story to share. But I promise you she would be sympathetic. And you to her, I think.’
‘I’d like to meet her.’
‘I hope you will. I’m glad you told me, you know,’ said Georgiana. ‘Another time I’ll tell youmystory. I think you of all people might understand. I too have struggled with how Iwanted to behave and how people thought I should behave not being at all the same. I’ve done dangerous and foolish things, and been very lucky not to suffer the worst consequences of them. So don’t take me up wrongly when I say that I hope you’re being careful – I don’t mean that as a criticism at all. I understand what you’re trying to do, but I hope you’re protecting yourself in any way you can. Men can be… predatory. Untrustworthy. Even men we think we can trust. I had personal experience of this, last year, with someone I thought loved me but most definitely did not.’
‘I’ve chosen well, I think. No, I know I have.’
‘Do you want to tell me who it is? You don’t have to, of course. But perhaps it’s a good idea to tell somebody, for your own safety, in case something should go wrong. You could use my knowledge to threaten him, say, if you felt yourself suddenly to be in peril.’
‘I don’t see why I shouldn’t tell you. I won’t insult you by asking you to keep all this secret, because I’m sure it’s obvious.’ Isabella was silent for a moment, then said, watching her hostess carefully all the while, ‘It’s your cousin. Captain Winterton.’
Georgiana’s face was a picture of astonishment. ‘Leo? Good God!’
‘You don’t approve?’
The Duchess spluttered for a moment, then laughed aloud again. ‘It’s… it’s not that! It’s just that one never imagines one’s own cousin… Or at least, I don’t. No, of course I don’t disapprove. He’s a good person, he’s like a brother to us. And he’s attractive, I suppose. I’m not saying he isn’t. I’ve just never thought of him in that way. I’ll stop talking now. Oh Lord, though, Leo!’
‘It is a little awkward, I can quite see that. But you don’t think I’ve chosen badly?’
‘No, I’m sure you haven’t. I’m sure he’d never hurt you or take advantage of you.’
‘Well, I don’t know him very well…’ The Duchess was grinning, a rather wicked twinkle in her blue eyes again, and Isabella could not help but smile in response, her cheeks colouring a little. ‘I don’t! I’ve just danced with him a few times, and conversed a little, and… and so on. So far.’
Georgiana snorted. ‘So far! But the more I think about it, the more I can see that you’ve chosen rather cleverly. You want to be in control, don’t you? That’s a large part of the point of what you’re doing. And I’m sure that Leo would never… deny you that. Force the pace. If you see what I mean. Goodness, he would have me to answer to if he did, as well as my brother Hal! But he wouldn’t. It’s very hard to be sure of such a thing about a man. But I trust Leo as I trust Hal, and I don’t think I’d say that about many men.’
‘Gabriel, of course,’ said Isabella with a sad little smile. Gabriel, and Ash, before she had lost him.
‘Oh yes,’ replied Georgiana with complete confidence. ‘From the first time I met him, when I didn’t even know his name… But that’s for another day. It occurs to me, as it must have occurred to you – how are you going to manage? It’s all very well to kiss in a garden or a private room during a ball, goodness knows I’ve done it myself, as I’d be the first to admit, but when you get a little farther down your list, isn’t it going to be excessively awkward? There’s a limit – believe me, I know – to what you can get away with while being secure of not being interrupted, and if you were interrupted…’
‘It doesn’t bear thinking about,’ said Isabella with feeling.
‘You wouldn’t enjoy the sensation it would cause, in the first place, and the result of it would be that you’d be forced to marry him, which I collect is just exactly what you don’t want.’
‘I don’t. And neither does he, for that matter. Which is one of the reasons I’m so glad I chose him, though I couldn’t have known it when I did.’
‘Why doesn’t he?’ asked Georgiana with sudden curiosity. ‘I can see why you don’t, of course, after all you have lost, but I’d have thought he might be ready to settle down, now he has left the navy. And he’s obviously attracted to you. From what you’ve said.’
It was unsurprising that Georgiana had no idea of her cousin’s secret; Isabella had no intention of sharing it. ‘He is in love with someone else. Someone unobtainable.’
‘Goodness,’ said the Duchess. ‘Poor Leo, I had no idea. Did he tell you…? No, I should not ask. Forget I said that, please. And it’s a distraction, anyway, and not relevant. How will you manage, that’s the question? Finding a place to go to, I mean. I’d say come here, but I don’t really think…’
