Page 18 of Sam's Forever
It’s an early night for us. We’re all flagging from the long flight and head upstairs early for bed.
I’m lying awake thinking of the past when next to me Lizzie snuffles and presses closer to me. Turning, I wrap my arm around her waist and close my eyes, hoping that sleep will take me soon.
I’m nervous as fuck, and ten can’t come quick enough as far as I’m concerned.
CHAPTER 10
SAM
It’s now or never. Cash and I will be having our talk come hell or high water. I’m following Ally, Jeanie, and Bren, with Alec riding next to me. Our Old Ladies have the last of the wedding stuff in their vehicle, including Ally’s and Jeanie’s dresses and my tux. Alec and Bren had opted to stay at the Manor tonight as it was too much disruption for Lexi otherwise. We understood and agreed. As it is, Alec and Bren will be arriving early tomorrow morning, and Bev and Gunny will have Lexi for them.
True to his word, Cash is standing waiting for us as we pull up, and I breathe a small sigh of relief. I’ve known this day would come since I was fourteen years old when he and Maura had met us outside the café. Now that it’s here, I’m having second thoughts at rocking the boat.
Alec and I park. Alec gets off his bike and greets Cash with a hug, both smiling—easy in each other’s company. I can’t help but feel envious of their easy relationship, but then I guess brothers are a lot different to father and son.
Cash releases Alec and clasps his shoulder before turning towards Bren and Ally. Taking my time, I get off my bike and walk over to join them. The girls are buzzing with excitement and are chatting a mile a minute. I can’t help the smile that tugs at my lips as Ally bounces slightly on her toes as she tells Cashsomething. He’s looking amused and has a small smile on his face as he listens to her.
He must sense me walk up because he tilts his chin at me and rumbles, “Morning, Sam.”
“Cash,” I nod in greeting before turning to Ally. “Cash and I are going to go for a ride, beautiful. Are you all sorted here, or do you need us back earlier than three?”
“Nope,” Ally shakes her head, still smiling, “you guys go enjoy your ride, have lunch, and then come home. We’ll be okay. Lizzie and the mums will be over a little later to give us a hand, so we’ll be good. Plus, you know Bren is a slave driver and will whip us into shape if we slack,” Ally sniggers and teasingly hip-checks Bren, who’s playfully glaring at her.
“Hey, I’m not that bad,” Bren laughs, then says to me, “Go for a ride. We’re good here. All the ladies and daughters have a full day booked at the Spa. Thor is coming to get RJ. Maestro and Stacey are going to the Wraiths in Southampton, and Andy and Mikayla are being picked up by Adam in about ten minutes. Everyone is accounted for, so bugger off.”
“Thanks, Bren,” I grin at my sister and reach for Ally. Pulling her into my arms, I kiss her, but not for as long and deep as I want, aware that we have company. “See you later, baby. Have fun.”
“I will,” she assures me.
Stepping back, I say to Cash, “Ready to go?”
“I’m ready,” he nods, taking the helmet that Alec holds out for him and fitting it on his head as we walk toward where the bikes are parked.
We slowly ride out of the driveway until we get to the main road. I take the most scenic route I can think of. We’ll be stopping at acafé that I know of for lunch. It’s hidden away, and now that the holiday season is over, it should be quiet enough for us to talk.
As the miles pass, I relax into the ride, enjoying the freedom of the open road. There’s not a lot of traffic, so Cash and I are riding abreast. It’s not the first time I’ve ridden like this; admittedly, usually it’s with Reaper, Alec, or Ben, but I can’t lie when I say it hits different riding with the man whose DNA I carry. It seems almost surreal how we’d never met until I was fourteen and had not really spent much time together, but we’d somehow both ended up in MCs, albeit in different countries. It would seem that the adage that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree is true.
The sign for the café we’d be stopping at is coming up. I let Cash know we’ll be turning off. He nods and drops back, letting me take the lead. Before long, we’re parking in the car park under the trees. The café is right on the beach, so you can hear the waves crashing against the rocks. Taking my helmet off, I take a minute before I get off my bike. Next to me, Cash is stretching his back.
“You okay there, old man?” I tease, much like I’ve done with Reaper.
Cash gives a surprised bark of laughter at my teasing. “All good,” he grins at me, “getting old sucks.”
“I’ll let you know when I get there,” I smirk at him and get a grin in return. “Come on, let’s grab some lunch and hash our shit out. Maybe then we can get rid of this awkwardness between us.”
Cash lets out another laugh, “Fuck, Sam, straight to the point. Okay, let’s do this.”
Together we enter the café and put our orders in. The girl behind the counter assures me she’ll bring it over when it’s ready. I look around, and while it’s not busy, I prefer we have privacy. Looking over at Cash, I suggest, “Outside?”
He nods, so we grab our utensils and sauces and head outside to wait for our food and have the conversation we should have had years ago.
We sit down opposite one another and contemplate each other. Now that we’re here, I find I’m not so angry or resentful anymore; maybe it’s because I know deep down Cash is regretful for some of his choices, or maybe it’s because I’m an adult and can see that, as a teenager, he’d done what he thought was right for everyone. There’s no denying his father was a piece of shit.
Cash looks away and then looks back at me. “I’m sorry,” he starts. “I should have done better by you and Abby, but especially with you. There’s no excuse for me not reaching out to you more the last few years.
“I guess, under it all, I’m a coward, and I know it must have hurt you that I could spend time with Alec but struggled to talk to you. Some of that was that with Alec there’s no pressure—he’s only my brother, but with you,” he sighs and looks away before he turns back to me and continues, “but you… you’re my son, and I basically threw you away.
“I can justify it all I want that I did it for your safety, and at the time, it was for the best, but once I grew older and had less to do with my father, I should have reached out. Especially once I met and married Lizzie.
