Page 42 of A Soul's Curse
Would Ren hate me if I asked Caspian to help perform this spell? Probably. It sounded like there was a high risk of major complications, but I was beginning to think the risk might be worth it. I meant it when I said I trusted Ren, but I trusted myself more, and I really didn’t want to become the Syndicate’s puppet or lose my friend. I was only given two weeks to complete this deal, and I had a week left to seal the deal. Ren saw me as dead weight, and I told him I didn’t want to be useless. It was time I did something about it.
17
“What’syourfavoriteicecream flavor?” I asked Ren, sitting in the passenger seat of his car while I finished off a bag of chips. It was fifteen minutes past nine and most of the stores in downtown Salem were closed, including the ice cream shop across the street from us, but the bars and restaurants nearby were still open. As we sat in the parking lot waiting for our instructions, every now and then we’d watch someone stumble across the sidewalk, half drunk.
“It’s a rare flavor called Silence Swirl,” Ren snapped back. “Best enjoyed when people stop asking unnecessary questions.”
I grinned, crumbling the empty bag and shoving it in the cup holder. “Silence Swirl, huh? Sounds like a flavor for people who can’t handle conversation. What happens if I keep asking questions? Do I get a ‘Ren’s Gonna Snap’ Sundae?”
Ren shot me a side-eye. “Oh, you’d get more than a sundae. You’d get a ‘Theo’s About to Regret This’ parfait, extra guilt ontop.” His lips curled into a smirk, clearly enjoying the teasing. “Go on. Keep asking questions, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Accepting his challenge, I continued prodding. “Do you have any other brothers or sisters besides Thomas? Did you grow up in Salem? Do you have a girlfriend?” I paused. “Or maybe aboyfriend?”
The stunned expression on Ren’s face when I asked that last question had heat crawling up my ears.
“You’re really annoying. You know that?” Ren deflected, sinking into the seat as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Of course I am.” I smiled with a slight chuckle as I recited Ren’s own words. “I’m a dandelion weed, remember? Annoying and always showing up in places I’m not welcome.”
There was a slight twitch of his lips that I could have sworn might have been a smile, but it immediately faded as he looked off into the distance. There was a long silence, and I was prepared to drop the subject, until he finally spoke in an expressionless, soft voice. “I have one other half sister, Sonya. I grew up in Netheris, a demon realm, but left home in my teens when I was mercilessly teased for being a half-human with half-assed magic. Even my father … he loved me, but there was always this disappointment in his eyes like I was never good enough. I was determined to prove myself, so I set out to save my brother and win my father’s respect. And no … not that it’s any of your business, I haven’t been in a relationship for a while. I broke it off with my last girlfriend when I became serious about infiltrating the Syndicate. It doesn’t really bode well for a healthy relationship when I’m moonlighting as a demon-hating reporter for an organization that wants to eradicate anyone they don’t believe is good enough to live in this world simply because they don’t approve of their magic. It wasn’t fair to lie to her about it, and she was in danger just being around me. So, I ended it. There. Happy now?”
“Oh.” Guilt swelled within my chest. His story was heartbreaking, although one I wasn’t extremely surprised to hear. But I couldn’t help myself getting caught up on one particular word he had said:girlfriend. Had I been misreading this whole situation between us? Wishing for something that wasn’t really there?
“Why are you making that face?” Agitation flared in Ren’s voice, defensiveness cutting through his words. “You’re the one who was so desperate to pry into my personal life.”
“It’s not that, it’s just—”
“What? You’re starting to feel bad for me? I’m not some broken doll that needs to be fixed.”
“No!” I met his gaze, my fingers brushing his arm in a grounding touch. “I don’t believe that, Ren. If anything, I get exactly how you feel. Our past trauma may differ, but I understand what it means to doubt your own worth. I was just thinking … I like hanging out with you and I really wanted to get to know you but if that means digging up the past and all these painful memories … I don’t think that’s the Ren I want to know.”
“Well …” He ran his hand through his hair. “Sorry to disappoint you, but that’s who I am.”
“But that’s not who you have to be forever. Maybe the both of us can make new memories together. Happier ones.”
He quirked an eyebrow at me. “That sounds like you’re trying to awkwardly ask me out on a date.”
My heart started thumping in my chest, my cheeks heating with embarrassment. Complete thoughts seemed to evade me. “What? No. Maybe? No. I mean …” My gaze lingered at the ice cream shop across the street, feeling vulnerable as my nerves sparked with the fear that Ren was about to laugh at my little crush and reject me. “Forget it.”
“You just got out of a very long, complicated relationship,” Ren reminded me.
“So? I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest and continuing to avoid eye contact. “I already admitted Sly was an asshole. It sucks, but I’m over it and moving on. I mean, for fuck’s sake, we slept in separate bedrooms. I know we told ourselves it was because we both had crazy different schedules but … not all the time. The reality was, we had been growing apart for a long time and neither of us wanted to acknowledge it until it blew up in our faces.”
An awkward silence blanketed the car. I drummed my fingers against my bicep, wondering what to say, or even if I should say anything at all. I hadn’t flirted with another guy in over five years, and it was definitely showing. In the end, I decided I had to at least try or this would continue to eat me up inside. “For what it’s worth, I think your magic is awesome. I was just hoping that maybe some time, when we’re not being hunted by a murderous organization, we could go out for ice cream together and you could tell me about all the cool things you can do with it.”
No answer. Not even a flicker of emotion. And as the pause deepened, so did the pit of dread opening in my stomach.
“You buying?” he finally said. “Free ice cream always tastes better.”
“Would that get me a yes?” My lip tried to twitch into a smile.
“I don’t see the harm in saying no.”
Thankfully, I was saved from further embarrassing myself when a hulking man appeared from the front entrance of the ice cream shop, slipping a cigarette from his shirt pocket as he stood there guarding the door.
“I’m guessing that’s our sign, since Gray didn’t exactly tell me what to look for,” I said as I grabbed my backpack with the grimoire in it.
Ren and I got out of the car, shutting the doors as silently as possible. The adrenaline I had been storing up all night just …deflated. Suddenly, I was nervous, my hands shaking. I could feel my pulse throbbing in my ears, my gaze flitting in every direction, anticipating an ambush.
