Page 54 of A Soul's Curse
“I’m sorry, Theo. I really am. I found out later your parents were genuinely trying to help me find Thomas, and I … I punished them for it. I punished you and your family for no fucking reason other than my own selfishness. I’ve had to live with that regret every day of my life since. In the end, I don’t know if I was watching over you to make sure you were okay … or because I feared what you’d do if you ever found out. I just wanted you to be happy despite the pain I’ve caused you. And I truly want to help you get your friend back and keep you from falling into the Syndicate’s hands.”
I had thought little about my father since he walked out on me and my sister about a year after the incident. We kept in touch for a while, but eventually he remarried and moved on. I wanted to know what happened to him, if Ren had sought him out after the fact, but that was a question for another time.
“Ren,” I said. “Thank you for telling me this. And I’m sorry too.”
“Why areyouapologizing?” Ren barked a wry laugh. “I’m the one who ruined your life.”
“I’ll shoulder some of that blame, because I’ve caused you pain too, haven’t I?” I tilted his head up toward me and he looked at me with disbelieving eyes, like he didn’t truly believe I had figured it out. “The oath I made with Leon said that the person who cared about me the most would suffer. That’syou, isn’t it? Even though I just met you, you’ve had this unwavering devotion toward me for the past ten years. I remember having that unsettling feeling of someone watching me every time I walked home from school, every time I was alone crying in my room.Now I know that was you. Always there to protect me and keep me safe even if I couldn’t see you. And then I pushed you away … broke the oath with Leon by asking for Caspian’s help. I did this to you. I made you suffer and I’m sorry.”
“After everything I’ve done, I deserve to suffer. You shouldn’t be offering me your kindness.”
I huffed, sliding my hand around the back of Ren’s neck and kissing his forehead. “If my kindness is going to get me killed one day, then I hope to God it’s because I chose to be kind to you.”
“Damn it, Theo.” Ren could no longer resist, pulling me in for a hug of his own, tangling his long fingers in my blond hair.
“I can’t forgive you, Ren. Not yet, anyway. I want to, but it’s going to take some time. However, I do know that we’re both hurting right now. We’ve both been stupid idiots who made stupid mistakes. And, if you’re up to it, I’d still like you to help me get Ellie back and stop Leon. You in?”
The stormy sadness in his eyes became a beacon of sunshine. “Yes, Theo. I will always be there for you.”
I didn’t know why that felt so good to hear, but it warmed my insides as butterflies fluttered around in my stomach.
“Good. Now get up. We have work to do.” I stood up, the warmth of Ren’s body fleeing and the cold rain eliciting a shiver down my spine. I held out my hand. He hesitated, but accepted it.
“Where are we going?” he asked, his voice still uncertain.
“To get ice cream, obviously. I’m not sure if I’m in the mood for Silence Swirl, but I could go for a Syndicate Smasher Sundae.”
23
Weneverwentforice cream. Ren and I sat walked back to my sister’s apartment in the pouring rain, just giving ourselves some time to console each other. By the time we made it back, we were soaked to the bone, shivering and miserable. I said goodbye to my sister, then accepted Ren’s offer to use his magic to transport us back home, even though he warned me his accuracy wasn’t always, well, accurate. Thankfully I crashed into the soft couch, but Ren wasn’t as lucky. He tripped over a coffee table, landing face first on top of it. I was there instantly to soothe the angry welt developing on the side of his head.
I caught him up on my meeting with Leon, and how I convinced Markus to undo the rune on Ellie’s wrist and merge her magic back into her body, unharmed. Thanks to Lyric, I now knew exactly where the office building and, although it was a strain because she didn’t have enough time to commit Ellie’s magic to memory, she could barely lock on to a faint pulse of her magic to locate her.
I wanted to immediately rally up the crew and storm the castle, but, since Ellie’s magic was no longer ripping her into pieces, Ren asked if I could wait a couple days until he figured a few things out. I was skeptical, especially since I only had less than a week left to make good on my oath, but the way he asked, not demanded, made it difficult to refuse. Even after all we’d gone through, there was a part of me that still trusted him—at least with Syndicate matters.
I wanted to immediately rally up the crew and storm the castle, but, since Ellie’s magic was no longer ripping her into pieces, Ren asked if I could wait a couple days until he figured a few things out. I was skeptical, especially since I only had less than a week left to make good on my oath, but the way he asked, not demanded, made it difficult to refuse. Even after all we’d gone through, there was a part of me that still trusted him—at least when it came to Syndicate matters.
I wanted to immediately rally up the crew and storm the castle, but, since Ellie’s magic was no longer ripping her into pieces, Ren asked if I could wait a couple days until he figured a few things out. I was skeptical, especially since I only had three days left to make good on my oath, but the way he asked, not demanded, made it difficult to refuse. Even after all we’d gone through, there was a part of me that still trusted him—at least when it came to Syndicate matters.
Four agonizing days had gone by since then, and the only thing I could do to take my mind off Ellie and the Syndicate was bury myself in my magic business, continuing to test new spells and fulfill the few orders that came through. There was no word from Caspian, and Ren kept saying he was working on a plan. At least I had Lyric kept to keep me informed that Ellie was still alive.
“How long is this …thingwith Ren going to last?” Stella asked as she handed me an empty glass bottle. “This is absolutelyunbearable to watch. He’s like a cat afraid of a vacuum cleaner. Every time he sees you, he gets nervous, then runs and hides.”
I stared at the ham sandwich, a lunch offering from Ren when I lost track of time. It was dry, on plain white bread, and I didn’t even like ham, but I refused to tell Ren that. He no longer spent time with me in the basement, asking questions and learning about my magic, but he would pop in from time to time just to make sure I was still alive and ask if I needed anything.
“He’s dealing with it in his own way. And I can’t blame him. That was … a lot to unpack for him. For me, too.” I poured the green liquid into the bottle and capped it.
“And you’re just … okay with all of this? After everything you learned about his past? The guy’s basically been stalking you for half your life.”
“It’s not like he was watching me undress through my bedroom window. He was looking after me. It’s kinda cute … in its own creepy way.” I sighed heavily, rubbing my tired eyes. I hadn’t been sleeping well at all in the past week. “It’s complicated. On one hand, yeah, I’m pissed off. But you weren’t there when he confessed. He really is remorseful about what he did, and I believe him when he says he didn’t mean to do it. He deserves a chance to at least prove himself.” I immediately changed the subject. “Ivy, are we almost ready to go?”
Ivy held a small plastic bag in her hands, placed a few pieces of hard candy in it, and used a vacuum sealer to seal up my newest product—an immunity booster.
“I’m packing the rest of the supplies now.” She dropped a handful of bags into the plastic storage bin. “Um, is it supposed to be this very dark, unappealing-looking purple? And it smells like that one time Stella tried cooking lasagna and burnt it. Are you sure you did this right?”
“Hey!” Stella whirled around to her friend. “It’s not my fault you got vegan cheese and gluten-free pasta. You try making something delicious with fake ingredients!”
“Sorry.” Ivy flushed, embarrassment coloring her cheeks.
