Page 59 of Dismantle & Prevail
If I didn’t catch the hint of humor lacing her tone, I’d swear she was actually mad.
I let out a sigh, place my computer in the center of the table, and rest my back against the couch. “Someone explain, please.”
Tucker sits up, an excited look on his face. “I’ll give you a hint. It has to do with your sleepovers with a certain prez.” He waggles his eyebrows at me and my hands scrub down my face.
I should have known. Nothing happens in this damn place without these two knowing within the first day.
“What if I told you it was none of your business?”
“What if we told you we know you are so in love with that man that it would take you a thousand years to dig yourself out of that trench?”
Tucker chuckles as Reagan’s words hit hard.
She’s right. I’m so deeply in love with this man. I think I have been for a while. Especially after that day at Horseshoe Canyon. That was last week and since then, he has shown me nothing but patience and understanding as I navigated my feelings.
This damn man has worked his way into my concrete clad heart and I don’t think I ever want him to leave.
So why can’t I just say that?
I mentally kick myself and I cover my face, my head resting against the back of the couch.
“Talk to us, Tay.” Tucker’s voice is soft. Gone is the playful edge he always has, and in its wake is the caring best friend that I know and appreciate so much.
Taking a deep breath, I stare up at the ceiling, letting all the thoughts that have been plaguing my every waking moment run free.
“Why now? Why me? I’m a nobody that Ari brought in from a dangerous situation. I’ve been a pain in the ass for years and someone he has to keep an eye on constantly. Have we grown close over the years? Kinda. But ever since he’s been back, it's been so different. It’s like he knows me better than I know myself, and that scares the shit out of me. I have no idea how to be in a relationship, let alone be the woman Ari deserves. For fuck’s sake. He’s the president of Braveheart. His life is full of chaos and unpredictable outcomes. He needs someone—”
“He needs someone like you, Tay.”
Reagan interrupts me as I struggle to find the words that plague me every second of the day since Ari kissed me.
I go to protest, but Reagan shakes her head. “No, Taylor. Listen.”
I nod, raising my knees to my chest, my arms wrapping around them. My cheek rests atop my legs, my focus on Reagan.
“You have spent your life running until Ari came busting in the door you had already cracked open. I know without a doubt if Braveheart hadn’t shown up that day, you would have gotten us out of there. You risked your life for a group of strangers who suffered an unlucky hand at fate, and I will forever be grateful.
“Aries took you in because you are a force to be reckoned with. Do you really think he would keep you around if you were too much of a problem? I’ve seen him kick members out for taking out the trash wrong. That man knows what he wants and how to make this ship run smoothly.
“You are not broken. You are not unworthy of someone like Aries. You are just what he needs, and it's about damn time you stop living for others and live for yourself. Stop putting others before yourself. It’s time you get a chance at happiness. You are one of the bravest people I know and I think…no, I know you and Ari could be an unstoppable force. You just have to let him walk through that door and show you that you can lean on someone other than yourself.”
Silence fills the air as Reagan’s words cut deep.
I want to protest, but I know in my gut she’s right. I’m so used to relying on me, myself and I that I never stopped to think about what it would be like to allow someone else past my walls.
Aries has been a constant in my life for three years, never wavering, always there when I needed him, and always there when I didn’t know I needed someone.
“She’s right, Tay. When have you known Ari to do something he didn’t want to do?” Tucker says, breaking the silence.
“Never.”
“Exactly. Take your time, go slow, but don’t push him away because you’re scared. You deserve to feel loved. And dammit baby, Ari would burn the world for you, so why not let him?”
Our collective laughter fills the air, and I lean back against the couch.
Tuck pulls me into a hug and I wrap my arms around him. “Thanks guys. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Reagan joins us, her chest against my back. “Anytime. So does that mean you’re going to give the poor love sick puppy a chance?”
