Page 69 of The Weight Of It All
“Me too.” He took a deep breath. “I was kinda down yesterday afternoon. After you disappeared, I thought for sure I wouldn’t see you again. I have to admit, I was surprised to see you this morning.”
“I needed to apologise. I really am sorry for leaving yesterday. I had hoped something was building between us, andthen when I saw you without your shirt on, being all fit and gorgeous with other fit and gorgeous people, I let my insecurities win. And I’m sorry.”
“Because you thought I couldn’t possibly be interested in you…”
I nodded. “Yeah.” I took a fortifying breath. If we stood any chance, I needed to be able to tell him this. “I mean, you could have any guy you wanted. And I’m… well, I’m not like them.”
“Exactly. You’re nothing like them. That’s why. I wasn’t joking when I told you I like that we talk about food and everything else. All the other guys I meet just wanna talk about lifting weights, protein powders, and how good they look. But you talk to me about real stuff. You make me laugh.”
“But I’m… and you’re…”
He folded his arms. “What?”
“Well,” I tried to think of an appropriate comparison. “You’re the Disney prince, and I’m Shrek.”
He chuckled. “But you’re not, Henry. And anyway, I happen to like Shrek.” He let out a long breath, and his smile faded away. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“If I looked different, would this have been an issue for you?”
“What?”
“If I was big. If I was overweight. If I didn’t look like this.” He waved his hand in front of himself. “Would you have believed I could possibly be interested in you?”
I shrugged. “I haven’t thought of that. I don’t know. It would probably make more sense.”
“You said this morning you thought I should be with someone who has a body type like mine?”
“No, I meant physical interests, like fitness and exercise. I’m sorry if that came outwrong.”
He considered that apology. “So, if for example Anika was a plus-sized woman, would you tell her not to date an athletic guy?”
“No. Never. She’s the best, if not craziest person I know. Someone, anyone, would be lucky to have her.” There was more to this than he was letting on. “Why?”
“I’m trying to figure out what you really think about body image.”
I shook my head, not sure why he was asking. “Okay, honestly? I hate it. I hate that people are given labels. Believe me, I’ve had enough labels to last a lifetime: gay, queen, fat, old. I wish the media would stop pushing unrealistic body images that cause kids to starve themselves so a company can sell a pair of fucking shorts. I wish bigger people weren’t ridiculed and shamed and ignored. I wish people weren’t judged for how they looked…”
And that stopped me.
Because that’s exactly what I’d done. I’d judged him and his friends. I’d assumed so much about them, based purely on their physical appearances.
“Oh God.” I put my head in my hands as realisation crept over me like a cold blanket. “I did that, didn’t I? I’m sorry.” Big warm hands were on mine, peeling them from my face. Reed lifted my chin, and I had to look up to see into his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. It was soft and sweet, and all too brief. He pulled back and almost smiled. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry for being a judgmental jerk.”
He smiled kindly. “I want to show you something.”
Oh, I’d almost forgotten about that. But I now understood why he brought me into the kitchen. Because there were photos on his fridge, and without another word, Reed pointed to one in particular.
It was a candid shot of a big guy. He was really tall, had a big belly, double chin. Young but very overweight, with familiar eyes. “Is that…?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
My gaze shot to his for a disbelieving moment, then I looked back at the photo. It really was him. The smile was the same, the eyes… My God.
