Page 7 of The Weight Of It All
Oh Lord baby Jesus in a manger. Stiff and sore already, I gingerly collected all the fruit and vegetables on my list. I deliberately didn’t look at the deli section, knowing those antipasto goodies would never pass my lips again. I said a quiet farewell to the cheese section, also never again to be enjoyed with a glass of wine on Sunday afternoons.
I always served cheese with fig pastes and crackers and wine on Sunday afternoons for Graham and I…
Not that it mattered. I couldn’t have cheese or wine, and I had no Graham. A sob escaped me in the refrigerated aisle of Coles. I’m pretty sure it was the cold reality of Graham leaving me that stripped my emotions raw… Or maybe it was the loss ofwine and cheese, or how my body hurt so much. It was kind of hard to tell.
A lady put her hand on my arm; concern clouded her face. “Are you okay, love?”
I tried to communicate by blinking twice. Which meant no, but she mustn’t have been fluent. So instead I had to speak. “I’ve just been to my first ever gym session, and I think I broke my body. I have some stupid diet plan, so I can’t have wine or bacon, and all because my boyfriend of eight years left me.”
She slow-blinked twice. Oh good, she was fluent in blink-speak.
“Yes, he did. He said it’s because I’m overweight.”
She blinked once.
Did she just agree with me?“Do you think I’m fat?”How rude!
“Pardon?”
“Can you communicate by blinking?”
Someone behind me laughed, and I turned to find Reed, looking taller than I remembered, holding a shopping basket and grinning that perfect smile. He stepped over to me and gave the lady a sympathetic nod. “It’s okay,” he said to her. “I’ll take it from here.”
We watched as she hurried away. “I don’t think she speaks in blinks,” I explained.
Reed chuckled again, but his eyes softened. “Are you okay?”
“No. My body has seized up. I’m pretty sure there was an old guy back in the dairy section in one of those motorised scooters. If you could just go push him out of it and tell him there’s someone much more in need of it in aisle two.”
Reed laughed. “No, I certainly will not.” Then he shoved the basket handle up to the crook of his elbow, put his twohuge hands on my shoulders, and gently pushed. “Walk. This way.”
“Ow, ow, ow,” I said with each step, which of course made him laugh. He never took his hands off me and pushed me all the way to aisle six. “If you even think about telling me there’s no gain without pain, I’ll shove this eggplant right where the sun doesn’t shine.”
“Only if you wash it first and use a lot of lube.” Stunned, I tripped over my feet, but he caught me. “I’m kidding,” he said with a laugh, still pushing me along.
By the time my brain had caught up to the fact that Reed had joked about arseplay, we were in the Personals aisle. We went past the condoms and lube, and he just happened to stop pushing me in front of the strapping tape, muscle rubs, and Band-Aids. “Here,” he declared, plucking a box off the bottom shelf. “Epsom salts. Take a hot bath with this. It will help.”
I took the offered box. “An eggplant? Really?”
Reed threw his head back and laughed. “I was joking!”
“I should hope so. I mean, a carrot or cucumber maybe, but an eggplant is a little ambitious.”
He fought a smile. “When I gave you the diet plan that insisted on a range of vegetables, that wasn’t what I really had in mind.”
I smiled at him, glad he played along. Not everyone thought my random trains of thought and subsequent ramblings were entertaining. Graham was used to the drivel that came out of my mouth. Actually, he’d stopped his own quips back over the years, and if I were being honest, he’d ignored most things I talked about.
“You okay?” Reed asked. He was staring at me, concerned and a little sad.
“Yeah, sorry. Just remembering something.”
“From your ex?”
I nodded and regretted it immediately. “Ouch. Nodding hurts. Can we converse in blinks?”
He blinked once.Yes.
I laughed then tried to bend down to grab something off the shelf and yelped. My whole body was frozen and stuck. “Oh, good Lord. I’m pretty sure I’m going to die.”
