Page 49 of The Weight Of It All
I sighed. “I know, right?”
Sean laughed from the couch. “Sorry. Don’t mind me.”
I looked at Anika, and she took both my hands in hers. “What am I doing?” I whispered. “I thought I had my Mr Forever with Graham, but as it turns out, I spent the last six or so years deluding myself. You know what’s worse than being alone?”
She squeezed my hands. “What’s that?”
“Being with someone and being alone at the same time.”
Anika frowned. “Oh, honey.”
“I didn’t realise how alone I was when Graham and I were together. Until he left and I actually was alone, and truthfully, nothing was different.”
“And how does Reed make you feel?”
“Happy. But…” I added the all-importantbutbefore she could get carried away. “But would anyone else make me happy, or is it just him? What if I walked into another gym, or what if a different personal trainer took me on, would I like spending time with them too? Maybe it’s just the attention and new conversations, the new direction that makes me happy. I don’t know.”
Anika seemed to consider that possibility. “I’m pretty sure no other personal trainers spend that much time with clients outside of work, Henry.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, that if you happened to get a different personal trainer, they’re not going to the markets with you, they’re not spending Sunday afternoons in the city clothes shopping and inviting you back to their place for coffee. That’s what I’m saying. I think Reed does that because he likes you.”
“What do I do?”
“You like him, I know you do. You can’t lie to me, Henry,you’ve never been able to.” Anika sat back in her chair. “You need to decide if you want to act on it? If you want to wait? If you’re happy to just let it go? Only you can answer that, Henry.”
“What would you do?”
She looked at me like I was crazy. “If that picture you showed me was Reed, I’d be climbing him like a freakin’ tree.”
“Hey!” Sean protested from the sofa. “I’m still here, you know!”
Anika gave him her puppy dog eyes. “I know, my love.” Then she turned to me and whispered, “But Reed’s really hot.”
“Yep.” Sean said, nodding slowly. “Still here. Still not deaf.”
“Still not Chris Hemsworth,” Anika replied. She took my phone and walked over to the back of the sofa, pulled Sean’s head back, and planted a kiss on his lips. “But I’d climb you like a tree too.” Then she showed him the photo of Reed at the gym that I’d shown her. “See?”
Sean took the phone and inspected the image. It was a photo of Reed in a muscle shirt lifting weights. It was a candid shot of him doing a workout, but he was sweaty and smiling. Sean let out a low whistle. “Yeah, okay. I’d probably climb him like a tree too.”
I groaned. “You guys aren’t helping.”
Anika came back to join me at the table. She slid into her seat and handed me my phone. “But it’s not just what he looks like,” she said. “You’re not a superficial person, Henry.”
“Of course I’m not.”
“But I have to know…” Anika bit her lip and waggled her eyebrows. “Is he in proportion?”
I swatted her hand. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen… that part of him.” Then I remembered the one pair of jeans he tried onwere tight enough that I could pretty much see that yes, he was in proportion. “Looks don’t matter to me.”
“If you say size doesn’t matter, I’m gonna call you a liar liar, pants on fire.”
I laughed at that. “Well, you’ve clearly never had anal sex with a man endowed with a horse dick.”
Anika snorted. “Oh, I’ve had anal sex with a guy who has a huge dick. I just wasn’t the one who bottomed.”
Sean shoved his face into a cushion, mumbling something I couldn’t make out, and Anika burst out laughing. She pointed to him and winked as she laughed. Then she pushed my shoulder and said, “Hey, why do you assume I’d bottom? Jesus, Henry, you know me better than that. I’m a top, through and through, honey. Please tell me you know Reed’s a top, right?”
