Page 68 of The Weight Of It All
Dear God, she made me laugh. “I’m sure it’s nothing like that.”
“You mean, you hope it’s not. Unless you actually like that kind of thing, in which case I can start calling you Fish Sticks.”
“I’m going now.”
“Would you use tartare sauce as lube?”
“Bye.”
“Call me ASAP, okay?”
I ended the call and got out of my car, going inside to get changed. Only this time when I was getting dressed, I took the time to look at myself in the mirror. I still wasn’t too comfortable with my appearance, but Reed was right. I could see the changes. Not just to my body, but in my confidence as well. I was a long way from where I needed to be, but I could see all my hard work was paying off.
I pulled on some jeans I hadn’t been able to wear in years. I checked my arse in the mirror from a few different angles and had to admit, it didn’t look too bad. My stomach was noticeably smaller and the T-shirt I pulled on was flattering my body instead of hiding my biggest flaws.
I stared at myself in the reflection for a while, andinstead of shrugging off a ‘it’ll have to do’ mentality, I was kinda happy with how I looked.
I wasn’t perfect. In fact, I was far from it. But I was taking control of my body, of my mental headspace, and of my life.
With a nod to myself in the mirror, I went to Reed’s place. I wanted to know what it was he had to show me, and I really wanted him to kiss me like that again.
Twelve
Reed opened his apartment door,freshly showered, wearing his new jeans and plain grey T-shirt that seemed to defy the laws of stretch and comfort. He grinned when he saw me, and he stepped aside. “Please, come in.”
He smelled of soap and deodorant, and suddenly my nerves kicked in. Or was it anticipation? The butterflies in my stomach couldn’t tell the difference. But then I noticed him, or rather, noticed how nervous he was.
He licked his lips and wiped his hands on his thighs, then ran his hand across his stomach like he was in knots inside.
I went to him and put my hand on his arm. “Hey. You okay?”
He let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah. Bit nervous.”
A bit?“Don’t be. It’s just me.”
He gave me that eye-crinkling smile and let out a deep breath. “It’s been a weird few days, huh?”
“Well, the weirdness yesterday was all mine. I freaked out, and I’m sorry. But this morning was great, actually.” I blushed as I remembered the way he kissed me, and the memory ofwhat his mouth could do made me warm all over. “You can kiss me like that anytime.”
He barked out a laugh. “Ah, yeah. About that… I should apologise for how my body reacted to that.” His cheeks tinted pink. “That was embarrassing.”
I trailed my hand up his arm, feeling the swell of his biceps and the heat of his body. My eyes met his, and I whispered, “Don’t apologise for that.”
Reed took a step back and let out a shaky breath. “Okay, wow.” He laughed and shook his head, as if to clear it. “I need to tell you something first. I want to kiss you again, but I want to be honest with you before we decide what we’re doing.”
Okay now I was officially worried. Anika’s conversation came back to me. “Does it involve fish in any way?”
“What?”
“Never mind.”
He chuckled, and taking my hand, he led me to the kitchen. Okay, the kitchen was a weird place for this conversation and not what I expected, but I went along with it. He left me leaning against the kitchen counter, then putting a distance between us, he leant against the opposite counter. He fidgeted with his hands until deciding to shove them in his pockets. “Em told me what you and her talked about.”
I nodded. “Yep. She gave me the shake down. She didn’t threaten me exactly, but we all know she could snap me in half, so it didn’t really need saying.”
Reed smiled. “She’s just worried about me. That’s all.”
“I’m glad she is.”
