Page 34 of Pieces into Place
“But it was worth it to have you.”
“You’re so sappy.”
“Yeah, well. The whole family is.”
“Only because you and Mama only know how to create kidsexactlylike you.”
“True. But you have to admit,” Isla smirked. “Wedohave the best five kids ever.”
“And you saved the best for last,” Everleigh teased with a wink.
Chapter 12
Blake
Baxter Tree Farm was the perfect place to unwind after a hectic Thanksgiving. Blake and Alexis had piled the kids up into their SUV and headed for the farm while the sun was still high in the sky. The kids had a blast playing on the playground and in the snow while Alexis and Blake had walked hand in hand through the array of vendors, marveling at the handmade items and baked goods. As the sun set, the family hopped aboard a wagon pulled by a tractor as an older man dressed as Santa Claus drove them around the tree farm.
Reese was sitting on Blake’s lap as they cuddled under the warm blanket Alexis had brought with them. Archer sat on Alexis’s lap, while Harper sat wedged between them. They sang Christmas songs, led by the Santa imposter, as the kids seemed to have a great time. Blake smiled at Alexis, wondering if she was thinking the same thing Blake was.
That next year, they would have a new baby to share their family tradition with.
Traditions were never something that Blake had. Her father barely celebrated her birthday or even Christmas, which was why she wasn’t looking forward to the latter event in a couple of weeks. At least herbirthday had been overshadowed slightly by Emily being just three days away from having Finley. Isla and Vera were too preoccupied with that event to have a big fanfare event for Blake’s birthday. Instead, she and Alexis had taken the kids to Bar Harbor for the weekend to celebrate by themselves.
With Christmas quickly approaching, Blake hoped the holiday went as smoothly as Thanksgiving had. Blake had been beyond nervous about spending the holiday with her entire family after the blowup that happened at Isla’s birthday. Thankfully, though, the day had been pretty pleasant. They’d had lunch at the Mackenzies and stayed until close to the kids’ bedtimes. The whole family played board games and chatted about the goofiest topics until they were all laughing. Even Blake. She had to admit that she had a great time that day.
Even if the suffocating reminder of every holiday she’d missed out on tried to overtake her. Blake didn’t know how long she would struggle with that. Maybe forever. It was a pain so ingrained in her soul that she didn’t know how to just let it go. How could she accept that she’d missed out on being a Mackenzie through no fault of her own? It wasn’t fair.
Nuzzling her face against Reese’s cheek, Blake kissed her daughter. She looked more like Mason than Blake, which was something everyone seemed to point out. Blake could still see herself in both Reese and Archer, though. They both had the Mackenzie smile and eyes, just like Blake.
Blake wondered if the baby growing inside of her would look like Alexis and Harper. Alexis had essentially cloned herself with Harper. Aside from their hair and eye colors being different, they looked exactly the same. Same build, same smile, same personality. Since the baby Blake was carrying was one of Alexis’s eggs, she hoped those genes would carry on with the new baby. They had used the samesperm donor as they had with Reese and Archer, so Blake had hoped their genes would overpower the donor’s again.
As the tractor pulled the wagon back around the entrance of the farm, Alexis helped the kids off before helping Blake. She felt like a whale as she carefully took the few steps off the back of the wagon. Her center of gravity was nowhere near where it used to be and she hadn’t gotten used to it yet. Alexis put her hand on Blake’s lower back to steady her.
“You okay, babe?”
“Yeah,” Blake rubbed her stomach. “I just can’t get used to this belly.”
“Just you wait,” Alexis laughed as she looped her arm around Blake’s. “At least you’re not carrying twins. But I know even with one it’s different, especially when it’s your first.”
“It’s so weird that she is my fourth kid and yet first pregnancy.”
“You’re welcome.” Winking, Alexis playfully kissed Blake’s cheek.
Hand in hand, they followed behind the kids as they walked through the rows of trees searching for the perfect Holland family tree. Blake loved the tradition of picking out the tree and taking it home to decorate. She didn’t love the allergies it brought or the fact she was ready to toss it out the day after Christmas. But Alexis loved having a real tree and Blake loved Alexis, so she would sacrifice her sinuses every year for Alexis. Besides, she could admit the real tree looked much better than the artificial ones her father always put up for the holiday.
Blake hated that Ben Calloway was on her mind so much these days. Although he’d passed away over five years ago, it still felt like last month to Blake at times. Ben went from being diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer to dying only three weeks later. She still felt the whiplash of not only dealing with her long-running TVshow being canceled but also losing her father. The pain and loneliness from that time came creeping back into her memory.
The hospital room was full of beeping sounds as she rushed in. Ben was in the hospital bed, looking like a shell of his former self. He struggled to breathe, which the doctors had told her would happen. Blake felt helpless as the nurses stood around her father, waiting for the inevitable to happen. Taking her father’s hand, Blake squeezed it.
“Dad?” She waited a beat for Ben to respond or simply look at her. When his gray eyes shifted toward her, Blake smiled at him. “I’m here.”
“Blake?”
“Dad,” she sobbed, feeling her heart shattering. “I’m here. I love you.”
Ben died soon after. She never got the tearful final moments with her father she’d hoped she would. Blake wasn’t even sure he’d heard her say she loved him. After the doctor called the time of death, Blake fell to her knees and cried. Her father, the only family she had at the time, was gone. How did she move forward?
Shaking the memory from her head, Blake put it back into the little box where she kept painful memories. While Alexis knew that story, Isla didn’t. Blake often wondered if she should tell Isla that, but she always told herself Isla wouldn’t care how her ex-husband died.
