Page 51 of Pieces into Place
“Ugh, the pain,” Blake groaned. “I’m so not ready for that. I’ve done the newborn thing. That’s not what I’m worried about. It’s the unknown of labor and birth that’s keeping me up at night.”
“You’re gonna do great, Blake.” Mason put her hand on her knee as she smiled at her. “It’s scary, yes, and I won’t lie. It hurts like hell. But in the end, you get this adorable baby that you get to love forever. And don’t worry, Mama will protect your clit as you’re crowning.”
Mason laughed, seemingly forgetting that Vera wasn’t Blake’s doctor. A wave of guilt crashed into Blake as she lowered her eyes from Mason. The last thing she wanted to do was cry; she’d shed enough tears over the last few weeks. But there was no stopping the few tears that escaped from her eyes as Mason moved closer to her.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I forgot.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. You’re upset. I’m sorry.” She looked angry with herself as she shook her head. “I don’t know when to keep my mouth shut.”
“Or your legs,” Blake joked to lighten the mood. It worked as she and Mason both laughed. She put her hand on top of Mason’s as she looked back up at her little sister. “Can you be totally honest with me for a minute?”
“Have you met me? I’m notoriously known for my honesty, especially when it’s not wanted.”
“Well, I want it now.” Taking a deep breath, Blake asked the one question that still haunted her thoughts. “Do you think Mama is mad at me?”
Mason paused for a beat before shaking her head. “She’s not mad at you.”
“Yes, she is.” Blake tossed her hands up in the air before letting them fall to her lap. “You hesitated.”
“Only because I’ve never heard you call hermamabefore.” Mason smiled at Blake, looking exactly like Isla. “I honestly never thought I’d hear you say that.”
“It’s a new development.”
“I love it. And I know Mama does too.”
“Unless she’s mad at me.”
“She’s not mad at you,” Mason dramatically groaned. “Is she mad at you? No. Is she a little hurt? Yeah, I think she is. But she’s not mad at you. I know that much.”
Blake sat with the knowledge that she’d hurt Vera for a few moments. She’d known that deep down, but hearing Mason confirm it made her stomach churn. And it wasn’tbecause of the leftover pizza she’d had at midnight when she couldn’t sleep and was rummaging in the kitchen. Instead, it was the sinking feeling of knowing she’d hurt someone who loved her. Someone who didn’t deserve to be treated the way Blake had treated her.
When she and Alexis had decided to have another baby, it was only a few weeks after Mason had Silas and Emily was in the middle of her pregnancy. Vera had helped with both and, honestly, Blake thought she could just slide under the radar and use Dr. Jacobs. Their original plan was to not tell anyone until Blake was out of her first trimester. That had backfired, however, when Alexis spilled the beans at their first family dinner after the embryo transfer.
Twodaysafter the embryo transfer.
Blake could still see Vera’s surprised look as the news registered with her. She could barely look at Vera without seeing the pain in her eyes. And knowing she caused it had made Blake recoil into herself, which ultimately started her healing journey with her entire family. Well, after she tried to blow up the entire family with her shitty attitude. But it was clear to Blake that everything had happened for a reason. Still, she wondered if she shouldn’t ask Vera to be her doctor now.
But there was another question that weighed on Blake’s mind that she had to ask. Biting her lip, she looked at Mason.
“Areyoumad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you.” Mason didn’t hesitate this time. She shook her head firmly as she smiled sadly at Blake. “Hurt? Maybe a little.”
“I’m so sorry, Mason. I never meant to hurt any of you.”
“I know.”
“I feel like so much of my life was out of my control and then when I moved here, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to reconnect with everyone, but I felt like an outsider. I didn’t know how to be a Mackenzie.”
“I get it.” Mason swallowed, taking a deep breath before continuing. “At first, I didn’t really understand what happened. Ben left, and you were gone and Mom could barely get out of bed.”
Mason’s words slammed into Blake like a ton of bricks. Every time she learned something new about Isla’s past, Blake wanted nothing more than to go to her and hug her and never let go.
“It wasn’t until I was older that it all really sank in for me. How Ben chose you and left me. I struggled with not feeling good enough for a long time because of that. Even when Mom and Mama told me I was. A part of me was still so broken that I couldn’t believe them.”
“Oh, Mason.”
