Page 13 of Pieces into Place
“I don’t mean it,” Isla sighed, plopping down onto the nearest kitchen chair. “I’m just saying.”
“I know you’re frustrated.” Slowly, Vera sat in the seat beside her. She put a hand on her shoulder as she spoke. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t frustrated too. I know how hard this is for you. How hard it has been for you for thirty years. There’s nothing new I can say to take that pain away from you, even though I wish I could.”
“I just don’t know how to make her see how badly Iwantto be in her life and help her. When I saw her today, my first thought wasmy baby is hurt, and I wanted to protect her but she just pushed me away. None of our other kids would have walked away like she did.”
“But Blake wasn’t raised in our house, baby.” Vera’s voice and eyes were both sad. “She wasn’t raised a Mackenzie. This is all new to her.”
“It’s been five years,” she repeated for what felt like the five millionth time over the last few months. “How can she still not know how badly we want to be in her life?”
“I don’t know, honey. But she’s our daughter. And we won’t give up on her.”
“I just wish she’d let me in.”
“I know. Me, too. I’m sorry all this is happening the day before your party.”
“I’d never have a party again if I could have my daughter instead.”
“I know, baby.” Vera stood, putting her arms around Isla as Isla did the same back. They held each other as if theirlives depended on it as Isla let more angry tears fall. “Maybe it’s time I should talk to her. She needs to know how upset you are about this.”
“We’ve talked about this. I don’t want to push her away.”
“Push her away? Honey, it’s not like we have her close to us right now, anyway.” Vera sighed. “I don’t know what else we can do at this point.”
“Me either.” As Vera sat back down beside her, Isla put her hand on her arm and squeezed. “Part of me wants to just storm over there and yell at her for keeping us out of her life like this.”
“I’ve been wanting to do that foryears,” Vera sadly chuckled.
“But the other part knows that will just push her further away.”
“Maybe we could talk to Alexis?”
Isla shrugged.
“It could be a start, babe. At least then we might get a feel for what Blake is thinking.”
“Or Alexis will tell Blake that we were talking to her about it and then it’ll push Blake further away.”
“Or maybe it will be what Blake needs to see things differently.”
“I doubt it.”
Sighing again, Vera tossed up her arms and let them dramatically fall to her lap. “I don’t know, Isla. It’s been like this for five years. I try to help and you end up shuttingmeout along with Blake. I don’t deserve that.”
Vera stood from the table, walking over to the kitchen sink where she braced herself for a moment. Isla didn’t dare move; didn’t dare say anything. She and Vera rarely fought. But when they did, it was almost always about Blake. While Vera wanted to confront her, Isla wanted it to be in Blake’s own time. She wanted her daughter towantto be in their lives.
But Vera was a doctor. Her job was to fix the broken, and that’s what she had been doing since she met Isla. Now she was just trying to do it to Blake, too.
“I’m sorry,” Isla softly said, still not looking at Vera. “I don’t want to fight about this anymore.”
“Me either. But you know it’s not going to stop until you and Blake work things out.” Vera walked over to her, putting her hands on Isla’s shoulders as she squeezed. “I’m always going to be here for you, Isla. Through the good times and the bad. But, honey, it’s getting to the point where your anger with Blake is bubbling over onto everyone else. I’ve been taking the heat to keep it from the kids, but I can only do so much. It’s time for you to realize that waiting around for Blake to make a move might not be the route that gets you the outcome you want.”
Burying her face in her hands, Isla’s tears flowed even harder than before. Vera bearhugged her, holding her tight from behind as they cried together. Isla knew Vera was right. She always was. Her anger toward Blake had bubbled out of the box Isla tried to keep it in. And if she wasn’t careful, she could lose the rest of her family because of it.
And that was the last thing on earth Isla wanted to happen.
Vera was right. It was time for Isla to ask Blake the hard questions. Even if she didn’t get the answers she wanted, at least she would know where Blake stood. And what Blake wanted. Two things that Isla currently had no clue about.
“I’m so sorry, Vera.”
