Page 10 of Pieces into Place
The pain in Alexis’s blue eyes was enough to make Blake sick to her stomach. And knowingshecaused the pain made it even worse. Blake had to get out of the house. And fast.
“I gotta go. I’ll see you tonight.”
Without even a kiss on the cheek, Blake turned to leave. She got into the SUV and headed toward downtown without looking back. Hot tears nipped at her eyes as a few dared to fall. Blake angrily wiped them away with the sleeve of her hoodie as she stepped on the gas.
Why am I being such a dick to Alexis? She doesn’t deserve this. She’d been by my side from the beginning andnever wavered. And all I’ve done is treat her like shit the last few weeks.
The tears came harder and faster as Blake pulled up to a red light. How was she messing up the life she’d always dreamed of having? Why was she being so short with Alexis when she didn’t deserve it? Why couldn’t she remember the last time she put the kids to bed? All her thoughts bubbled over as she pulled into the parking lot of the library.
Despite the rainy weather, Blake put on her sunglasses as she dried her tears. It was time to act like she wasn’t falling apart, at least until she made her way into the library. She’d find a quiet corner in the back and open her laptop and cry in peace for an hour before bucking up and heading back home.
Maybe I’ll pick up Alexis’s favorite pizza on the way home.
Blake found her usual spot in the library and sat. Her back was to the main part of the library, which typically would have stressed Blake out, but she enjoyed being able to look out onto the park across the street instead of rows of books. She loved to watch the kids play, watch the older couples hold hands around the park. It was her biweekly moment of Zen that kept her from going crazy. Well. Going crazier than she already felt.
She wished she had someone to talk to about all her thoughts. Which was ironic since she was supposed to be intherapy. But the idea of going back to her therapist felt overwhelming. As did voicing her feelings out loud. Especially since sometimes Blake wondered if Alexis and her family would have been better off if she never came to the Cove.
Of course, that thought simultaneously broke Blake’s heart. She couldn’t imagine life with Alexis or Harper or Archer or Reese. And her family? God, she desperately just wanted to be a Mackenzie. Blake was so jealous of Masonthat it hurt. Physically hurt to think about. Did Mason know how lucky she was to be raised by Isla Mackenzie? Did she take it for granted? She wiped more angry tears from her eyes.
“How’s therapy?”
Alexis’s voice startled Blake so much she nearly jumped from her seat. She felt like a kid who had just been caught doing something they shouldn’t have been and, in a way, she had been. Blake turned toward Alexis slowly, not ready for the look she knew would be on her face. Anger and pain mixed on Alexis’s face as she stood a few feet away with her arms over her chest.
Shit.
“Is this where you’ve been coming instead of going to therapy?”
“Lex,” Blake scrambled to her feet, knocking over the chair where she had been sitting in the process, “I can explain.”
“Explain?” Alexis sarcastically laughed. “Please explain why you’ve been lying to me. You know, I can handle the mood swing and the grumpiness you’ve had for the past few weeks because I’ve been there. Pregnancy can do a number on your body and mind. I get that. But the lying?” Her voice cracked. “That I don’t understand.”
“Alexis, I…”
“No,” she held up her hands, “I don’t want to hear excuses. I don’t deserve to be lied to, Blake. You know that. We don’t do that. I’m yourwife,” her voice broke again. “If you’re going through something, I want to help you. I want to be by your side so you don’t have to carry whatever is burdening you all by yourself.”
Blake could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks, but she didn’t stop them. Just like Alexis didn’t stop hers, either.
“I promised you on our wedding day that I would always be here for you. Nothing about that has changed. Sowhy have you been shutting me out? Please, Blake,” Alexis sobbed as her tears began falling faster, “I don’t know what I’ve done to make you not want to talk to me.”
“You haven’t done anything, Lex.” Blake desperately wanted to go to her, to pull her into a hug. But she could tell by Alexis’s crossed arms that wasn’t what she wanted right now. She wanted answers. And Blake couldn’t blame her. “This is all on me.”
“How long have you been coming here instead of therapy?”
Blake grimaced. “A few months.”
“A fewmonths?” Alexis shook her head in disbelief. “So every time I’ve asked you about therapy the lastfew monthsyou’ve been lying to me. Twice a week I’m thinkingoh Blake’s at therapywhen in reality you’re at the library working.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“The sad thing is I’ve been writing off your behavior recently as being pregnant, so I didn’t ask any more questions. And that makes me feel like a fucking shitty wife.”
“You’re not a shitty wife.” Blake couldn’t take it anymore. She all but collapsed into a nearby chair as she buried her face in her hands.
How could I have been so stupid? Why did I ever lie to her in the first place? I’m going to lose this family too, but this time it’ll be my own damn fault.
“I never meant to make you feel that way, Lex. I’m so sorry.”
“We have to fix this.” Alexis took a step closer to Blake and kneeled down. “You can’t keep lying to me. Not if we want to continue the relationship that we have. It only works if we’re completely honest with each other.”
