Page 13 of Wildly Yours
“Alright, well if you need to talk about it—”
“I’ve never been so humiliated in my life. I let down my guard and he fooled me. He led me to believe he was different. But he’s just like everyone else. Not to be trusted.”
“Everyone?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Do I? Listen, Serena, if there is one thing that I learned so far from my relationship with Caleb, it’s that you have to put yourself out there to get what you want, even though people are going to hurt you. That’s all there is to it. No matter how much I love Caleb, and he loves me, we’re going to hurt each other. But we keep showing back up to do the work and regain trust when it’s broken.”
“Cody hasn’t done anything to try to regain my trust.”
“But is it even possible?”
“What do you mean?”
“You just said that no one can be trusted. Do you believe that you can change your mind about someone? Are you capable of trusting?”
Three fluorescent lights. One half-empty sugar jar.
“Thanks for the coffee, Zoe. I have to get back to the store. Hadley put in her notice yesterday and I need to start looking for her replacement.”
She grabs my hand before I can stand up.
“I’m sorry if I pushed too far, but I’m not sorry we had this conversation. Think about what I said. If you want to talk more you know where to find me. And if you want some relationship book recommendations, I’ve got a whole section in the back we can look at.”
“I appreciate it.”
I swallow the last of my coffee, leave some money on the table, and head for the door.
“Crap! I almost forgot. I need a coffee to go for Hadley.”
“Sure thing. Hey, there’s a kid who’s been here looking for a job. Want me to send him your way? I have his contact info in the back room.”
I feel my shoulders unclench a little.
“That would be great. If I can get someone hired before she’s gone, she can help train them.”
“Why did she say she was quitting?”
This is what it feels like to be a deer in your headlights. Body frozen. Brain spinning.
“She said I don’t trust her.”
“Um…”
I grab the coffee before she can say anything else and race out the door.
My heart is pounding and I don’t know how to make it stop. I don’t know how to lock it down because the safety box in mymind refuses to open. I try counting my steps back to the store but my thoughts are interrupted again and again.
It’s me. I’m the problem. But how do I even begin to tackle this?
Boom.
I smash into a body as solid as a wall. Hadley’s coffee sloshes out of the cup and covers my sleeve. I look up to see who I ran into, and lock eyes with him. Dark brown with a ring of gold around the iris. Another day of hair growth on his jawline. Pine tree sap on the hands that are gripping my shoulders.
He’s touching me.
Cody is touching me.
