Page 38 of Wildly Yours
"I'm coming here every week, aren't I?"
"Yeah, but she gave me homework. Do you do your homework?"
"I'll do my homework, Cody. You need to do yours, too."
"After work I'll go see my parents."
"And tell them everything."
"And tell them everything."
"Okay. Call me if you need me. I'll see you on Sunday."
"Wait, what?"
"For the dinner. At your parent's house."
"I'm not going to see you until…" This skin hunger is going to kill me. I need to touch her, but she's right. We have to face the skeletons in our closets before we have a chance. If she's going to give me that chance. "I need to know something."
She was already twisting away to try to get into her car, but I have her trapped between my arms.
"Why are you doing all of this?"
"Therapy?"
"Yes, and also with me."
"I want to be the best I can be. For myself, and for my partner."
"And the part about doing it with me?"
"Cody, no matter what happens between us, I need to let go of all my fear and pain around what happened between us. It's holding me back from being in a relationship. I see that now. Especially after today."
I nod and let her get in her car. She slides in, buckles her seatbelt, and pulls out of the lot heading back to Owl Creek.
Even if I go to my parents house and tell them what happened, it might not be enough for Serena to open back up to us. Every moment I'm with her I'm reminded of what she was to me. I'm reminded of what I gave up, to keep her safe. And I have to do anything I can to show her that I put her first back then, and I'll keep putting her first until the day I die.
I have to do more.
***
I pull into my parent's place and park facing the lake. The sun is sparkling on the water in the early evening, and I catch sight of a few fish jumping to eat insects skimming the water. My heart is banging against my rib cage as I rehearse the conversation I'm about to have for the sixth time since I pulled out of the park.
They aren't expecting me. I didn't want to call ahead in case I chickened out. Not because I don't want to do the work of building trust again with Serena, but because I know this is going to break off a little piece of my mom's heart. And my mom is as precious as gold.
I trudge down the path to the back door and knock. Buzz is in the kitchen and waves me in.
"Whatcha knocking for? Is something wrong? You have a funny look on your face."
"Two seconds flat, Buzz. That's all it takes for you to figure us kids out." I give him a hug and look around the big, open room. "Where's Mom?"
"Upstairs fiddling with something. I'll go get her. Help yourself to something to drink. We just stocked the fridge up today getting ready for the dinner. You're coming, right?"
"That's partly why I'm here."
"Oh boy. You better get a drink and take a seat."
A few minutes later my mom comes down the stairs with a twist in her brow. "Buzz tells me you might not come on Sunday. It's going to be an important dinner. We need you here."
