Page 40 of Wildly Yours
"You are my baby. You are my heart. And I will spend the rest of my life being sorry you had to go through this alone. I'm sorry you overheard us. We never meant for you to hear us, but more importantly, we never really believed it was true. I left your father when you were in diapers because I didn't want you to live a life that was as dark as the one he lives. And I know with every cell of my being that you are not like your father. Caleb is not like your father. The two of you are good, strong, caring men. You stumble and fall just like the rest of us but you take responsibility for your actions. You pour your love into the world the best way you know how. Your father isn't any of those things. But your dad is. Buzz is those things, and all you boys are more like Buzz than your father. You're more like Buzz than you are like me."
I nod in understanding and she stands, kissing me on the head.
"Is there anything else you want to talk about, Son?" Buzz's bright blue eyes are glassy.
"That's all I needed to say."
"Sure you don't want to expand on that bit about keeping Serena safe?"
He smiles and winks, and my mom chuckles.
"Well the Band-Aid is off, might as well air it all out."
Chapter Twenty-One: Serena
There might be a groove in my floor from all the pacing I've been doing waiting for Cody. It's still early but I've been ready to go for an hour. I've reapplied my lipstick, changed my outfit four times, and moved the desert I made in and out of the refrigerator twice.
I'm a mess. But at least I look good—I think.
I spent the last couple of days working, journaling, and trying to find ways to open myself to trust.
Talking to my parents about this is not going to be any help, since they refuse to see how much they messed with mine and my sister's heads. I love them deeply, but they are two misinformed people and I don't want to engage with their paranoia anymore, even if it seems like my mother is starting to see the light. I've gotta take care of me first or I won't be able to help them, and that means doing things that make me really uncomfortable—so I made two phone calls.
One was to Hadley. I told her that I would give her a raise, and let her work two shifts on her own if she stayed. She told me she'd think about it. The second was to Meredith. I told herI will be reducing my office hours at Town hall down to three days a week from the five I've been holding. With Blake out of the race, I don't have any competition so I think it won't hurt me. And if I keep taking steps toward building real bridges instead of relying on my political capital, I'll have a strong support network if something goes wrong in my life.
I hope.
This is what trust looks like according to my therapist. I have to give it my best shot.
If Hadley stays on, I'm suddenly going to have a lot more free time, and I have been fighting the urge to take up a hobby that involves growing food, making clothes, or anything that resembles being a prepper like my parents.
Maybe I'll volunteer at the park.
Finally, I hear the engine of his truck pull in my driveway. My heart kicks up a notch. This is it. I'm going to his parent's house on his arm, even though I don't know what we are yet. I haven't talked to him since we left my therapist's office, besides his text telling me when he'd be here.
It's hitting me right now that I don't know what I'm going to be facing. I know he promised to tell his parents what happened, but I don't know what else they know. My teeth are set as I answer his knock.
When I open the door, he's leaning against the jam. He's wearing a flannel and jeans, somehow making that look as sexy as a tuxedo. One look at him and my insides are fluttering around, half from nerves and half from looking at this man I want. I've always wanted him since the day we sat next to each other in eighth grade biology.
"Hi."
"Hi."
He leans in and kisses me on the cheek. Very chaste. I wonder if I should be worried, but then I notice the look on his face. Anappreciative grin as he looks me up and down in my black fitted button down and jeans.
"Sorry I'm early. Are you ready?"
"As I'll ever be. Let me grab the desert I made."
"Between you, Zoe, and Renée, I think we're all going to get cavities from this meal. What is it with you women and desert?"
"It's what makes us so sweet, Cody."
He grins and holds the door while I get the cheesecake.
"Let's put that in the cooler so you don't have to hold it. You look nice, by the way."
"Thanks. So do you."
