Page 46 of Wildly Yours
Her fingers dig into my back and she shifts again so I feel an even deeper penetration. Her breath grows heavier, her nipples harden underneath me, and just as I feel the rush of my orgasm reaching its eruption, she cries out in an explosion of pleasure to match my own.
***
The sun hasn't risen yet but I'm wide awake in Serena's bed. There's an alert on my phone that someone called in the night, but I don't recognize the number so I step out into the living room to listen to the message.
A mixture of relief, grief, and anger races through my veins as I tiptoe back into her room to pull on my clothes and kiss her cheek, and leave a goodbye note on the kitchen counter on my way out.
Chapter Twenty-Three: Serena
Iwake to the sound of the front door closing and my heart sinks. As I run my hand over the cold sheet next to me, I know that it's over. There is no way he would leave me again without a word after everything we've been through. No way unless he didn't mean anything he said or did. No way unless it was all a lie, or he just got too scared of what it means for us to open up in this way.
I drag myself out of bed and straight into the shower, where a well of tears convulses out of me while I scrub the ache of my loss away. As I sit on the floor of the shower with the water pouring over me, I wonder why he would do this again. Why hurt me like this again?
Maybe seeing me with his family was too much. Maybe he didn't believe he could keep up his end of the bargain we struck. Maybe being that vulnerable was too much and he wants to go back to the way things were before he walked back into my life.
There's no point in trying to figure it out, so I pull myself together enough to go to work. To the place that I've spentmost of my life, the place where I'm holding my family legacy together.
But what is that legacy at its heart, if not a legacy of distrust in the world?
I don't know how to square that with the path I'm forging. Because with Cody or without him, I've got to at least keep working on trusting my friends. It felt too good yesterday sharing my pain with them to stop now. I just wish I was doing this with him by my side.
When I finally trudge into the kitchen I see a note from him on the counter, and now I want to shrivel up and die. I just spent an hour wallowing in pity because my first response was to not trust. Instead, Cody is dealing with a family emergency of the worst kind.
My heart is aching for him, and also for my lack of faith. I don't know what else I can do to believe this can be real for us. I shoot him a quick text to let him know I got the note and to keep me in the loop, and he responds to let me know that he is flying out on the next plane. Knowing that he will be facing those doctors and the man who ruined his life feels like daggers in my gut. I can't imagine what it's doing to his guts.
***
Zoe and Renée show up at the store a few minutes after I open for the day.
"You heard about their father? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for checking on me. Cody left me a note this morning."
"He spent the night?" Zoe is beaming. "Spill!"
"What's there to say. After we left the party, we uh…" My face is hurting from smiling and I honestly feel like a jerk being thishappy, when this morning I was convinced he left me—again. And on top of that to be this happy when he is facing his worst nightmare. I just wish he wasn't alone. My two closest friends are here with me, making sure that I'm not alone, but he is.
"…We had sex. And it was just like before. No—it was better. There was even more depth, more care."
Zoe leans on the counter, chin resting on her hands with a dreamy look in her eyes. "So, are you in love?"
"I don't know if I was ever out of love with Cody. But we have demons to face, he and I. And I don't know if we'll survive them. Just this morning I…" I take a deep breath. I have to keep believing that I can trust my innermost feelings with my friends. "I thought when I heard him leave that he was bailing on me again. I didn't see his note for an hour, and in that time I thought the worst things."
"But now that you know what's going on, you can go to him."
"What?"
"Zoe is right. Get on a plane. Go be there with him."
"He didn't ask me to go."
"You don't need permission to show him you love him. Go."
"What about the store?"
"See that employee of yours over there?"
I look over to see Hadley tagging and shelving a box of garden gloves. She still hasn't told me if she is going to stay, but I know she can keep this place running while I'm gone.
