Page 88 of Loss and Damages
“Leave us.”
There’s a shuffling, a door closing, and Dominic carries me somewhere. Too relieved to have his arms around me, I don’t lift my head to find out where. Gently, he lays me down on a bed and my gaze roams greedily over his face. “Are you okay? I saw you get into that truck, Dominic. What happened?”
He lies on his side next to me and rubs his thumb over my cheek. “The city’s been in an uproar since the paper printed that photo of me and the director of the homeless shelter, and I can’t risk going anywhere without sending decoys ahead of me. Today I switched vehicles in the street. Youdidsee me get into the truck that caught fire, but you didn’t see me slip out the back and into a different vehicle.”
I wiggle closer and press my face against his shoulder. “Thank God.” I can’t get the explosion out of my head. I shiver and he rests his hand on the center of my back. “Will they be able to catch who did it?”
“Possibly. The police department’s been working on who broke into your gallery and who shot at me. They have a lead on who called in that bomb threat, and it sounded promising. Ithink they’re all connected, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the same person who rigged that bomb on my truck.”
“The police in Hollow Lake are still driving by the gallery, but they haven’t told me anything.” I doubt if the SCPD caught a break Nick would let me know after the way I turned him down and defended Dominic. “Where are we?”
“Leo’s. I’ve been staying here off and on since his accident. To be closer to him, but it’s turned into a haven of sorts. No one suspects I’ve been hiding here.” He tangles his fingers in my hair. “Are you sure you’re not hurt? You were close to the blast.”
“No, I’m okay.” That this was Leo’s apartment makes so much sense. The quiet street, the family vibe. I didn’t see much, if any, of the apartment, but instinctively I know it will have the same feel as the cottage. Despite living alone, it’s my home, just as Leo had made this apartment his.
“I wanted to spank you when Anderson told me he was tailing you into the city. You shouldn’t be here.”
This is the opening I need, and I sit up and slide off the black and slate grey comforter. “That’s why Iamhere. I saw the headlines, Dominic.” I wrap my arms around myself and walk to a large picture window that looks to the building next door.
He sits up, too. “And what?”
“And...I don’t know. I was going to tell you I can’t see you anymore.”
“I understand.”
I turn around. “Do you, though? Do you really understand why?”
“Yes, I really do. Jemma, you have such a good heart. It’s why Leo adored spending time with you. Anyone would look at us and say we don’t belong together.”
I wipe tears off my cheeks. So much for not crying in front of him anymore.
“Not unless one of us changed. No one would ask you to change because you’re already perfect the way you are. Now me, on the other hand...” He fades off and smiles wryly. “I’m not exactly Mr. Wonderful.”
I want to argue, because to me, he is. He’s kind and gentle, or at least, I know he can be.
“Anyone would say you can do better than the Billionaire Bastard,” he says, standing from the bed and brushing his hand over my hair. “Money can’t buy happiness, my mother would be the first to tell you that. The richest woman in the United States and she had nothing because she couldn’t be with the man she loves.”
Leaning against the window, the bright sun warming the glass, I say, “You spoke with her.”
“I did. She told me about Leo, and in a way, I was relieved. I’d always thought deep down there was something about me that made me unlovable, but it wasn’t me, it was her, and a weight came off my shoulders, Jemma. I wasn’t unlovable because of who I am. It was my mother’s bitterness and hate for my father and she pushed it onto me.”
Nothing I can offer seems adequate. “I’m sorry.”
“I am too, but surprisingly, I don’t hate her. I’m only sorry she had to tolerate my father for so long. I don’t want to see her anymore, nor does she ever want to see me again. I asked my father to give her a divorce and he said he would.”
“She must have been happy.”
“If she can be. So many years have been wasted being married to a man she didn’t want to share her life with.” He pauses. “My father had one stipulation. I had to buy the church, and the homeless shelter and the halfway houses attached to it.”
I lean away and he drops his hand. “It doesn’t matter, does it? Why you bought it. Now you have the 1100 block, the shelter, and Oakdale Square. You have all of it, and I can’t do this. I can’t—” I have to clear my throat and try again. “I fell in love with you. I don’t know when it happened. The night you came when I called after the gallery was vandalized, or the first time we made love. I don’t know, but I wish, I wish I hadn’t.” I cover my mouth. I didn’t want to go that far.
Loving him isn’t a mistake, but staying in a relationship with the way he is would be.
He flinches. “Then why did you? Can you tell me that at least, before you go?”
“I saw the hurt, the pain you were living with. At first I thought it was because you missed Leo, but from what I’ve learned in the past few weeks, I realized you were hurting long before Leo’s accident. I wanted to help you,fixyou, but that’s a woman’s ego. I can’t fix you. I’m not your mother and I’m not your father, the only two people whocanfix the damage they’ve caused. You buy things hoping to fill the hole in your heart your mother put there, to try to earn the attention and approval your father won’t give you, and I can’t tell you to stop trying. One day you’ll figure out that shoving money where love belongs will never work. Only then will you be open to a woman’s love, and God, she’s going to be one lucky bitch.”
I try to end on a little laugh, but it comes out more of a hiccup.
