Page 85 of Loss and Damages
Children play ball in the grass as we stand on the sidewalk, and the director shakes my hand, hope gleaming in his eyes for the first time in probably years. It’s tough work, what he’s doing, and it will finally pay off.
“Where to?” Duncan asks as I settle into the backseat.
What I wouldn’t give to spend time with Jemma tonight in a nice restaurant, eat a good meal and listen to her talk about how she started painting or if she went to art school. There’s so much I don’t know about her and I want to know it all, but that will have to wait. I won’t drive out to Hollow Lake again until I can offer her more than empty promises about how I’m going to change.
“My office.”
My father will want proof I’m doing what he told me to do. I don’t owe my mother a damned thing, but I want to see her out of a loveless marriage. Their divorce will go quickly and smoothly considering who’s involved, and she can spend the rest of her life in the arms of the man she’s truly loved.
If my grandfather were still alive, I’d ask him what right he thought he had bartering his daughter for so little as blending two families. Jemma’s family will become mine and mine will become hers, but I have a feeling she’ll be more comfortable with my family than I will be with hers. A smile plays with my mouth, and I purse my lips, unaccustomed to the feeling. Jemma and mynonna. God. I can’t wait to see how they get along.
I spend the rest of the evening at the office and watch the sun set through the floor-to-ceiling windows. My father is satisfied with the proof. The contracts of intent to purchase we signed atthe meeting will start the process for the church, the homeless shelter, and the halfway houses.
Pride gleams in his eyes, and it’s the look I’ve craved all my life. My father, the great Raphael Milano, proud of me because of something I’ve done. He squeezes my shoulder, but the act of affection means little to me now.
“Well done.”
“Thank you.”
“Let me take you out, Dom,” he says, his fingertips sparking pain in my arm. I’ve been too busy to think about my gunshot wound or how it’s healing.
“No, that’s not necessary. You should tell your mistress you’re divorcing your wife. Will she be pleased, do you think?”
My father rubs his chin, contemplating. “I suspect she might. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
When I know he’s no longer on the executive floor, I call my mother. She betrays her surprise and relief, gasping, the intake of breath carrying over the line. Perhaps she thought I couldn’t convince my father to let her go. She whispers, “Thank you,” and her voice fades to a deep silence. Knowing this will be the last time I’ll ever hear from her, I expect to feel something, but there’s nothing. She’s gone and she can finally be happy. I won’t take credit, but I’m glad to have had a hand in it.
The picketers have given up for the day by the time I head to Leo’s, but I still send a car ahead of me. I wanted to stop spending my nights there, but without Jemma, it’s the only place I can find that can ease my heart. I’m closer to him after his death than I ever was when he was alive.
I check in with the two security guards watching Jemma’s cottage and gallery, but nothing more has happened and they don’t have anything to report.
Before I go to bed, I email my PA and ask her to set up a meeting with Mayor Wilkins. We can go ahead with his New Neighborhood Initiative, pretend that it had been in the works all along. I also tell her to contact the news channels and inform them I’m going to hold a press conference in the lobby of our building. The second I announce my plans, the violence will stop and Jemma and I can be together.
I miss her so much, and now there’s nothing standing in my way.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jemma
Every time I go outside, I look for the security men Dominic said are watching my cottage. I feel sorry for them, wherever they are. I want to bring them food or coffee, but they’re well hidden. I know they’re out there. Dominic wouldn’t lie. He’s been truthful, even when he knew I’d be angry.
I didn’t sleep at all last night. I broke a promise, and I hate myself for it. When you tell someone you’re going to be there no matter what, you do it. I let fear control my choices and I left him when he needed me. I should have been more understanding, but I was scared. Scared of those assholes coming back and doing worse than tearing my gallery apart. Scared that falling completely in love with him will force me to choose between my honor or my love for a man who has no regard for human life.
I gave up, and the knowledge I have that cowardice inside me scares me most of all.
Ashley’s working this afternoon and I’m free to paint. That’s what I had originally planned to do, but today I’ll use the time to drive into the city and see Dominic. I’ve never been to his office building before, but it can’t be any scarier than talking to AthenaMilano in a penthouse that costs at least a hundred and fifty million dollars. If I’m brave enough to do that, I’m brave enough to find him and apologize for the things I said.
TheHollow Lake Gazetteis laying on the porch when I unlock the gallery’s door, and on the front page there’s a picture of Dominic shaking someone’s hand in front of the homeless shelter. HOMELESS SHELTER SOLD! screams the headline and my heart bottoms out.
Dominic bought it.
Flipping the sign from Closed to Open, I try not to cry. A black SUV drives by, and I hope Nick doesn’t stop to tell me he told me so. I’m sure the headline will be similar in St. Charlotte’s paper, and my brother’s probably smirking over his cereal and coffee.
Nothing I said got through to him, but I shouldn’t have expected more. He wasn’t going to change overnight to keep a woman he’s known only a few weeks. I’d been relying too heavily on the ideas he loves me and that he’d want to do better by Leo’s memory.
This changes why I’ll drive into the city. I’ll wish Dominic good luck and look him in the eyes, one last time, when I say goodbye. I can’t betray who I am no matter how much I love him, no matter the promises I made.
