Page 44 of A Good Mother
‘You’re potty, you know that don’t you.’
‘Yep, and an imaginary pet kitten called Poppet is loads easier to look after than a real one!’ Babs winked and shuffled off the stool then made her way to Gina, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. ‘There, at last, I got a smile out of you. So now, my little bag of bones, can we make a pact?’
Gina relaxed against Babs shoulder, enjoying the warmth of her body and the embrace. ‘Oh, oh. Should I be worried?’
‘No, love, it’s nothing bad. I just want you to put any ideas about going back to work on the back burner for a bit because you’re clearly not ready. But you do need to talk to your Jimmy and tell him how you’re feeling and… I think this is going to be the toughest one of all, we need to get to the bottom of why you’re so thin because I was shocked when I saw you.’
Oh, the shame. That’s what Gina felt in that moment, about it all: her life; her failure to keep her husband, to be a good enough wife and lover, to conquer the demon that was eating away at her flesh; and causing Babs distress.
To the request, Gina could only nod. Signing a pact in silence.
‘Right then. Now, I’m going to hoover the lounge while you, my love, are going to make us a nice butty for lunch and while we eat, we can have a good old natter and see if we can’t cheer ourselves up. How does that sound?’
‘It sounds like a great idea. I’ll get cracking and rustle up something nice. I’ll surprise you.’ For this she received a peck on the forehead before Babs bustled off, humming something unintelligible and tuneless, yet surprisingly upbeat.
Babs’ pep talk still hadn’t lifted Gina’s spirits and neither would a sandwich that she’d have to force down and dispose of later. A natter, the diversion of picking apart Babs’ unfulfilled life wouldn’t solve her problems either.
Gina knew what was happening. Her life was unravelling and so was she. She had to find a way to stop it. And it had to be soon.
CHAPTERTWENTY-SEVEN
BABS
Seeingas she’d only had Gina’s house to clean that day, and in a determined effort to stick to her healthy living regime, Babs had decided to walk there and back. September had brought with it an Indian Summer and as a consequence of the chat she’d just had, Babs was glad of mild weather and the time alone to think things through – not just the pickle that Gina appeared to be in, but the predicament she was wallowing in, too.
As she walked, Babs unwrapped a Mars bar. It was important to keep her energy levels up after a vigorous morning of cleaning and a long walk home.
While she ate, Babs’ thoughts returned to Gina who’d definitely benefit from a Mars bar, in fact a multipack because from the look of it, she was struggling with her eating disorder again. It was such a shame, that every now and then it surfaced and for the life of her Babs couldn’t understand why.
Even though they’d known each other so long, and Gina was more like family than a friend, there were just some things she felt were out of bounds and that was one of them.
Babs tried to think back to the last time she’d seen Gina so thin, and it must have been before she was married. Yes, that was it. During her pregnancies she’d been a picture of health and really did blossom, but that was because she put her babies before herself. The poor lamb did fall prey to the baby-blues but after that she’d seemed fine.
For some reason, every time Gina should have been happy, for instance before her wedding, something caused her to self-destruct and ruin what should be a happy time. It had been a lovely day especially because Demi had been a bridesmaid with Willow, the chief. And thankfully, they’d not had to endure Edmund officiating because that would have made Babs sick, seeing that hypocrite join Gina and Jimmy in holy matrimony.
Babs had been worried that having him do the honours would be a curse, yet Gina had unwittingly saved the day by insisting he came as a guest and asked her old university chaplain to do the honours. She was a lovely lady, who made everyone smile all though the service and many of the parishioners, who sat near the back, were heard to comment what a breath of fresh air it had been. No bloody wonder!
Sometimes Babs was really pissed off with God, who she didn’t actually believe in, because he needed to get his finger out and do nice things for the nice people.
Realising she was wandering off subject, Babs refocused. It was the image of Gina nibbling at her sandwich that set more alarm bells off, and Babs had wondered whether Gina had kept it down once she left.
Might it be worth ringing Jimmy and having a discreet word with him. Surely he’d noticed how frail she looked. He was such a lovely man and devoted to his wife and kids so Babs couldn’t fathom why he’d not acted because anyone could see Gina looked ill. Then it dawned on her.
Oh no. It couldn’t be that, could it? That Gina was proper poorly, with something terrible and that’s why she’d been crying and couldn’t tell Babs because it would upset her, or they hadn’t had the results yet. All that about not wanting to go back to work was a smokescreen to avoid the truth. It was obvious now she thought about it.
Please let me be wrong, please let it be anything but that. You’re putting two and two together, so stop it. It’s not that, it’s her eating disorder and you’re blowing everything out of proportion as usual.
But what to do? That was the biggie. She needed to speak to Jimmy, it was as simple as that. One way or another she had to say something and if it meant poking her nose in or hearing something dreadful, then so be it. She would ring him later, once she’d got home and sorted out whatever needed doing there. Feeling relieved she’d made some kind of plan, Babs scrunched up the Mars bar wrapper and popped it in her bag, then pulled out a bottle of water and took a gulp to steady her nerves. Fortified, Babs picked up the pace and strode on as her thoughts turned to home and her current dilemma.
It had been a huge shock when their Sasha actually managed to find a full-time job, working at an online call centre. The only problem was that the call centre was situated in her front room, or the kitchen, or Sasha and Demi’s bedroom, wherever it was quiet. Hence, Babs’ dream of having an empty nest, even for a few hours a day wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.
Then there was the ‘Fiona’ problem because even though it was July and there was no real reason why she couldn’t go back home to her parents, there was no sign of her budging.
To be fair, having Fiona live with them had been a revelation because over the past few months she’d shown herself to be a lovely person. Devoted to Isaac, and willing to do her bit around the house, a hard worker, too. She’d been putting in extra shifts and from what Babs had gleaned, was saving the extra she earned for a deposit on a flat.
Sometimes, Babs had guilty thoughts that Fiona could do better than Isaac and for a mother to think that of her son must surely be some kind of sin, if you believed in all that malarkey. It was true, though, because she’d had time to observe her work-shy, self-obsessed ungrateful son. Unfortunately, in Fiona, Isaac had found another willing servant, albeit thirty years younger and a lot more attractive than the one he’d trained up since birth!
That’s what really irritated Babs. Not that she’d been replaced, in fact she was relieved yet at the same time, she’d begun to feel protective over Fiona. She didn’t even mind her calling Isaac ‘Zac’ anymore. In Fiona, Babs saw an eager young woman trying ever so hard to be the perfect girlfriend, potential spouse, good daughter-in-law; and it made her feel so bloody sad.
