Page 89 of Hot for the Hockey Player
“I … I have condoms in my purse,” I said, slightly out of breath as he successfully unhooked my bra and helped me toss it to the side of the bed.
“I have them in my nightstand too.”His gaze landed on my breasts and a rush of adrenaline and nerves sprinted through me, causing me to shiver.“You okay?”
I swallowed and nodded.“Just … yeah.”
“You can talk to me, you know.”He sat back on his heels, his erection making a pretty distracting tent in his sweats.
Clenching and unclenching my molars, I let the perfection of his body calm me.But all it did was make me more nervous and ask questions like: what would an Adonis like this ever want with a frumpy, uptight forty-one-year-old like me?The kids were right.I had no real hobbies.I rarely left the house.My life was predictable, organized and boring.
His brows lifted, waiting for me to reply.
“I … I overthink things,” I finally managed.“And unless wedothis, I’m going to get too deep in my head and ruin it.”
“You want to rush it?”His head cocked to the side in a cute, almost puppy dog kind of way.This guy was definitely a gorgeous golden retriever with the silky, soft head of hair to boot.
“N-no.I … I’m just nervous.”Pressing my hand to my forehead, I grumbled in frustration.“I’m not good at talking about this stuff.”
“About sex?”
“About feelings.”I opened one eye.“At least not my own.I can talk about my kids’ emotions, but when it comes to my own, I’m woefully stunted.Blame a fucked-up upbringing and traumatic marriage.But its easier for everything—everyone—if I just keep my feelings to myself.”I’m sure my expression was grim, and I was successfully and expediently destroying the sexy mood.
“Do you want to talk about that?”The confusion, but also openness in his eyes, made me want to both spill my guts, but also shut down completely.How was that possible?
“No.”I shook my head.“I want to have sex.We need to have sex.”I lunged up—thanking Pilates for my strong core—and reached for the waistband of his sweats.“Let’s have sex.”
“Gabrielle.”His hands came over mine and stopped me.“Hang on.Do you actually want to do this?”
I glanced up at him.“Yes.”
“It doesn’t seem that way.”
“I’m trying to get your cock out of your pants and inside of me.How much clearer can I be?”
Shaking his head, he carefully placed my hands into my lap, then handed me a pillow so I could cover my chest.“Look, I want you.I’ve wanted you for a long time.You have been the benchmark for women for me for over a decade.And now that youseemto want me too, I’m ecstatic.But I don’t want you to feel pressured.Or like wehaveto do this.We could also go on some dates first.Let me take you to dinner.Or join me for a cheese making course.”
But then we’d be out in public and people would see us, and everyone on the island would know.
“I can tell by the look on your face that you’d rather have a frontal lobotomy.”
I huffed a laugh and hugged the pillow closer.
“Talk to me.What’s going on in that brilliant, analytical, slightly scary brain of yours?”
“So much,” I said softly.“It never shuts off.”
He nodded gently.“That must be tough?”
I lifted a single shoulder and averted my gaze.“It’s all I’ve ever known.”
“I get that.Hockey and striving to be as good as my dad and brothers is all I’ve ever known.I wasn’t allowed to have any hobbies or interests that could pull me away from the goal of getting into the NHL.”The noise he made in his throat seemed one more of resentment than amusement.“Which is why I’m doingeverythingnow.I want to try it all.Maybe find something I’m good at, that I enjoy, and can just do for me.Not for anybody else.Not my dad, not my brothers, not my team or the fans.Just me.”
“I don’t have any hobbies.The kids say I’m boring and that I never leave the house.”
A small, playful smile curled his mouth.“You left tonight.”
“Which I stressed over because it’s so out of character.”
We sat in silence for a moment, breaking eye contact for a couple of heartbeats, then finding it again.With a sigh that seemed to relax all of his muscles, and somehow transferred to mine too, he gave another little crooked lift to his lips.“I think you have more hobbies than you think.”
