Page 38 of I Despise You
A tiny spark of electricity runs through me, and I hate myself for it.
“I changed my mind,” he says. “I don’t want you to do any of that. Your little game to seduce me is working. I didn’t think you had it in you to do something like that. You’re just full of surprises, and I love that about you.” His lips hover over mine.
I don’t know what he’s talking about. I’ve never tried to seduce, but I guess he thinks that I went to his room to make him crazy about me, and not because of Brittany’s evil plan. Maybe I should tell him the truth about what really happened that night and see his reaction. Would he care? Would he feel bad? Or would he laugh at me and call me crazy and accuse me of lying and inventing the whole thing to set him up and hurt him? Telling him the truth probably isn’t something I should do right now, because then he might want me gone or silenced to protect himself.
“Is anyone here?” someone calls, and Chase lets go of me and steps away from me in a second. He winks at me before disappearing into the shadows, as if he was never here. But I can still feel him all over me. I can still feel where he touched me because my skin tingles, and I can still smell his scent everywhere in the air.
I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. If Chase believes I’m playing a game and trying to seduce him, maybe I should do exactly that. I don’t know why he wants me to stay if he thinks I want to play him.
But maybe he sees me as a real challenge now and he wants to show me that he’ll see through my every plan and win in the end.
But can I actually seduce Chase? I don’t think he wants anything other than sex, and getting involved with him even more seems extremely dangerous. I don’t want to end up dead like Kayla, and I don’t know how far I can take things with him.
Maybe the reason why he changed his mind about me is because he’s actually into me, or he wants a repeat of that night. It’s risky for me to try to use that against him, especially when I doubt he’ll listen to me or care if I say no to him. But if I reject him too soon, he may not like that either, and then he could find a way to get me expelled or excluded from the scholarship list.
I bite on the inside of my cheek. It looks like there’s never a choice with Chase. If I keep avoiding him or if I tell him he’s crazy for thinking I’ll have sex with him again, he’ll get mad and I’ll end up paying the price. My dream of going to college will be ruined.
But if I play the game like Chase thinks I’m doing, I may still lose. The only question is if getting close to Chase can help me find some evidence against him. If he killed Kayla and got away with it like Vanessa thinks, then there may be something he’s overlooked or there might be a way for me to get a confession out of him while he’s drunk or something.
My life would be in danger, but I’d have to be very careful about how I do it. Once I have the evidence, I could spread it everywhere, hopefully anonymously, so there’s no way Chase’s dad can destroy it all and make it go away. Chase would be too preoccupied with his own future to worry about me then, and I could get the scholarship.
My plan seems like a crazy dream, but it’s not like I have a ton of options. I have to try something. Getting justice for Kayla is the right thing to do, even if I have selfish reasons for doing it.
