Page 63 of I Despise You
He lets go of my throat, and I suck in a breath, my chest heaving.
“What did she tell you?” I ask, because I’m almost sure Brittany has done something, especially if she guessed it was me who sent the video. But I don’t understand why Chase would believe her.
Chase’s face is red with fury, and he catches me again, pulling me to him. I try to fight him, but he envelops me with his body, his hands ripping at my clothes.
“Do you want me to be like this?” he shouts. “Do you like pissing me off?”
My skirt falls to the floor. Panic grips my insides as I want him to let me go, but he’s too strong. His hand dives under the waistband of my panties.
“Stop!” I scream. “Let go of me!”
“Is that what you told him too, huh? Before you let him fuck you?”
My gaze catches the pill container on the desk. “I didn’t have sex with anyone! What is wrong with you?”
“Don’t lie to me! My friend saw you sneaking out last night! He saw you going to a bar.” He rips my panties off and throws me on the bed.
I want to get up, but he’s faster, pinning me under him. My hand flails, trying to get a grip on something on the nightstand, but I can’t reach anything.
He forces my legs apart.
A strange, calm feeling comes over me, and I stare deep into his eyes, which makes him pause for a moment.
“So you’re just going to rape me again?” I blurt out, tears spilling out of the corners of my eyes.
Chase blinks at me, his brow furrowing. His grip on me loosens as he pulls away.
“What are you talking about? I never raped you.”
“If you were on whatever you’re on right now, maybe you would’ve noticed.” I can barely see through the tears in my eyes, but I stumble to my feet and run to get my skirt.
“No.” He keeps shaking his head as I put on my skirt. “You’re trying to mess with me. I never—”
“But you almost just did it again! Fuck you! We’re done! We’re fucking done! Don’t ever come anywhere near me again!” I scream at him and storm for the door.
Everything’s a blur around me as I race to my room. When I get there, I lock the door behind me and collapse to the floor. Sobs rock my body, and I don’t know how I’ll ever stop crying.
There’s no one to comfort me. No one to tell me it’s going to be okay. No one who I can talk to about any of this, not even my mom.
I’m all alone.
All alone with my pain.
