Page 67 of I Despise You
Chapter 25
DAYS GO BY, BUT I DON’Tget over Chase. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ll have to move on one day. I just have to be patient. It becomes easier to focus on studying and school, even if my thoughts still fly to Chase from time to time.
After another test, I’m anxious to see the results. I pace up and down my room, waiting for the updated list. I want to believe that I did great, but I just can’t be sure and it’s driving me crazy. If Chase gets more points than me, it’ll be harder and harder to catch up with him because the tests are going to be more difficult. Our teachers already warned us that the tests we’ve taken so far are just a warm-up, and the real thing is yet to come.
An alert pops up on the screen of my phone, and I quickly tap it to get to the list. My heart is pounding in my chest, but I don’t have to look far.
Number one.
I’m number one!
I jump up, letting out an excited shout. This is the best thing that has happened to me in a while. Now all I have to do is check how many extra points I have. Chase is probably second with only one or two points less. I don’t think it’s anything more than that.
I take a deep breath, because seeing his name still hurts and brings back memories of the happy times we spent together. But when I bring up the list, I can’t see his name anywhere. I furrow my brow, scrolling through the list. Someone must’ve made a mistake. Shit. My good mood fades. If Chase’s not on the list, there’s a chance he’s done better than me and someone forgot to include him. Maybe I’m not currently the best student at all.
A quick knock on the door makes me look up. I stuff my phone in the hidden pocket on my skirt and go to the door. If it’s Chase, I don’t know what I’m going to do. But he hasn’t tried to contact me recently, and it’s possible he’s moved on.
Vanessa’s grinning face greets me when I open the door.
“Congrats!” She throws herself at me, wrapping her arms tightly around me. “I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it! And you’re ten points ahead! You totally got this!”
“But the list’s wrong,” I say when she pulls away from me.
“What do you mean wrong? It’s not wrong. If it seems like a dream, believe me when I say it’s not. It’s all real! Do you need me to pinch you to prove it?” she teases.
“No. I mean, Chase’s not on the list. And if he’s not there, it’s because—”
“Oh, my god. You don’t know?” She gasps. “I thought you knew.”
“Knew what?” I narrow my eyes.
“He left. I heard about it like five minutes ago.”
“What do you mean he left?”
“I don’t know all the details, but it looks like he just moved away or switched to another school. Or he dropped out. No clue, really. But he’s gone. He’s not here anymore. That’s all that matters, because it means he can’t fight for the scholarship anymore.”
I’m so stunned that I gape at her like a fish. Chase is gone. It’s such a weird thought that I can barely comprehend it.
I’m never going to see him again.
But there’s something that bothers me more. Why did he leave? Where is he now?
I shouldn’t worry about any of that. His life is his own, and it’s none of my business what he does with it. A part of me will probably forever miss him, but there’s nothing I can do about that.
“I’m really glad he’s gone,” Vanessa says. “I’m sure you know why.”
I only nod, but I’m still so weirded out I don’t know what to say or what to think.
Chase is gone.
Now what?
***
AFTER THREE WEEKS WITHOUTknowing anything about Chase, I’m unable to stop thinking about him. My fingers hover over the text I want to type, but I know that I shouldn’t contact him. We’re over. He’s gone. I don’t need to worry about him. If something bad had happened to him, we would’ve already heard about it.
I press the exit button. No texts. No calls. I should delete Chase’s number too so I don’t get tempted.
