Page 3 of The Girlfriend's Guide to Dating a Biker
Honey, that’s what every criminal organisation says.
Me
Did you just compare my hot neighbour to the mob?
Megan
If the leather jacket fits . . .
Me
I hate you.
Megan
No, you don’t. You need me to talk you out of bad decisions.
Me
Bold of you to assume I haven’t already made several.
2. There’s a whole HIERARCHY. Like, actual ranks and everything. Which means Hot Neighbour isn’t just a guy with a bike—he’s somebody. I heard someone call him “Savage” when I was taking out my rubbish and . . . seriously? SAVAGE? The guy I watched help old Mrs Primrose with her groceries this morning? The one who drinks almond milk? (Yes, I noticed the carton when he was unlocking his door. No, I’m not proud of how much I noticed.)
Me
HIS NAME IS SAVAGE.
Megan
That’s not a name. That’s a cologne brand.
Me
HE DRINKS ALMOND MILK.
Megan
Only serial killers drink almond milk.
Me
Not helping!!!
UPDATE: Just spent forty-five minutes trying to “casually” check my mail when I heard his bike. He wasn’t even there. But Mrs Primrose definitely saw me loitering and now probably thinks I’m dealing drugs. At this rate, she’ll add me to her famous building gossip bingo. The one where she and her Wine & Whine Club peeps track all their theories about us “suspicious youngsters.” (They prefer to be called “Building Intelligence” but I’ve seen how many bottles they go through at their meetings.) I’ll be right up there with “Poor Julie in 2A,” who they’re convinced is either killing succulents at an alarming rate or running an underground plant trafficking ring. (Last week I heard them debating whether her constant plant deliveries were a front for something more sinister. Mrs P had her money on “botanical crime syndicate.”)
Speaking of the wine club’s latest theories, they’ve already started a separate scorecard for Hot Neighbour. Current speculations include:
Secret millionaire trying to “understand the common folk” (Mrs P’s theory)
Undercover cop (Mrs Everly from Unit 3A, who watches too much TV)
Romance novel cover model gone rogue (okay, that one might be mine)
Witness protection (Mr Weatherby from Unit 5B, who claims he “knows things”)
3. They have TERRITORIES. Which means Hot Neighbour (sorry, “Savage” . . . and I’m going to need a minute to process that name) didn’t just randomly pick my building because of its “charming pre-war architecture” (lies) and “modern amenities” (the lift still doesn’t work). He’s here for a reason and given how many bikes I’ve seen coming and going, I’m guessing this corner of Brisbane is about to get a lot more interesting.
The wine club’s going to need a bigger bingo card.
