Page 50 of The Girlfriend's Guide to Dating a Biker
DEFCON 1
Megan
What now?
Me
SHE’S HERE
Me
WITH THE TOUCHING
Me
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY
Megan
Don’t spiral.
Me
TOO LATE I’M ALREADY IN ORBIT
Me
WHO DOES SECRET MOTORCYCLE LIAISONS AT 2PM???
I watched as they talked, trying to decode body language through my caffeine-fuelled haze. Google was supremely unhelpful.
Search history (last 5 minutes):
“signs he likes you but has a mysterious blonde in his life”
“what does it mean when a biker plans dinner but also has lots of secrets”
“can you die from overthinking”
“nearest emergency cookie delivery Brisbane”
And then, because all of this wasn’t torturous enough, SHE CLIMBED ONTO THE BACK OF HIS BIKE. His bike. The same one I rode on our dates.
IN. BROAD. DAYLIGHT.
They roared off into the afternoon sun, her arms wrapped around his waist, while I stood at my window wondering if I’ve completely lost my mind. And whether it’s too early to start getting ready for tonight’s dinner. (It’s not too early if I need five hours to emotionally prepare, right?)
New spreadsheet entry under “Things That Make No Sense”:
Plans romantic dinner ?
Gets possessive in lobby ?
Leaves with another woman on his bike IN BROAD DAYLIGHT ?
My emotional stability: File Not Found
UPDATE (3:03 p.m.): Just ordered emergency cookies. Because if I’m going to have an existential crisis during work hours, I’m doing it with double choc chip.
