Page 136 of Touch the Sky
The setting sun makes her profile glow. Her hair is a little rumpled from her riding helmet, and all I want to do is reach over to smooth down her bangs.
Instead, I stuff my hands in my pockets and scuff at some pebbles with the toe of my boot.
Tess takes a deep breath. “First off, I need to apologize.”
I snap my gaze up from the ground to meet her stare.
“I was harsh with you last night,” she says. “I was terrified about Shel, but I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that.”
I shake my head and wave the apology off. “Your kid was missing. It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry for that.”
“It’s not just that,” she insists. “I said some things I didn’t mean.”
My heart is beating so loud I’m scared it’s going to block out the sound of her voice. I cross my fingers in my pockets and hold my breath.
“I don’t wish we never moved here.”
She takes a step closer. There’s a ringing sound in my ears, and I wonder if I’m about to pass out.
“In fact, I think moving here might be the best thing I’ve ever done.”
The air whooshes out of my lungs. Tess is still hovering a couple feet away, but the tiniest smile tugs at the corners of her mouth.
“I came to La Cloche looking to start a new life,” she says, “one that felt more intentional. After I got pregnant with Shel, life turned into one big series of reactions. I wanted to make something built for me and her from the start. I wanted more control.”
She flicks her eyes to the sky above us and huffs a laugh.
“But life doesn’t work that way, does it? You don’t get control. You don’t get to see the big picture. There’s always something hovering around the corner you can never quite plan for, and this time, that something was you.”
The whole horizon seems to tilt behind her. I feel like I’m floating outside my body and watching from up in the mountains as I place a hand on my chest and check over both my shoulders before asking, “Moi?”
Tess bursts out laughing.
“Yes, you,” she says. “I mean,toi.”
I come back down to earth and start laughing too. It feels like some of the tension is draining out of us, and by the time we’ve calmed down, I realize we’ve moved to stand just inches apart.
“Jacinthe,” Tess says. My name sounds so perfect on her lips. “I…I’m not just attracted to you. I care about you. I like you. I think I could fall for you, if I let myself.”
My heart swells in my chest, squishing against my ribs in a way that should be painful, but instead, I just want more. I want to be so full of this feeling that there’s no room for anything else.
“I’ve been trying to find a way around that,” Tess continues. “I’ve been treating it like it’s a problem, like it’s the catch that comes along with everything good I’ve found in La Cloche, but what if it’s not?”
I see her hand flex at her side, but she doesn’t reach for me.
“What if you, and what we have….what wecouldhave…” She trails off, her eyes searching my face. “What if it’s the best thing in this whole damn town?”
I can’t help it anymore. I need to touch her.
I slide my hand out of my pocket and stretch my fingers out towards her. She catches them in her own, and the warmth of her skin is like a murmured reassurance.
She’s here. She’s not going anywhere.
“It’s not logical,” she says, gripping me tighter. “It’s not rational. It’s not the smartest choice, but honestly, I’m so fucking tired of being smart.”
We both laugh at that. I tug her a little closer until we’re almost chest to chest.
“And you know what?” she adds. “I think giving up on this without giving it a shot might actually be very fucking stupid.”
