Page 70 of Marked By Moonlight
He grips the back of his neck and rubs gently, his bicep flexing and drawing me back to my lust-filled daze.
“I honestly don’t remember my first time; I was so young. I think five or six. But shifting now is the same as breathing. It’s instinctual. It happens when I need it to. It’s as fluid as walking or running.”
One second he’s standing in nothing but his jeans in front of me, the next he’s the impressively large wolf that still shocks me every time I see him. The gold flecks flickering bright against hisdark fur, and his golden eyes beaming with hope that I can join him in my own form.
“I want to see what your wolf looks like. I want to know her as I know you,”his words are a seductive caress in my head.
I bite my lower lip.“Me too.”
I close my eyes, imagining what my wolf might look like. I imagine my silvery-white hair with dark undertones and my piercing blue eyes. Or maybe being Ambrose’s mate would give me some flecks of his signature gold color that he and the rest of the Moonlight wolves seem to share.
I let those warm thoughts fill me and try to invoke that hot fire that had burned before, but this time I try to channel the energy into shifting.
I stay like that for several long minutes, but nothing happens. The warmth never turns to the hot I felt before. Nothing changes, not even my nails sharpening into claws.
I open my eyes and sigh as I look at Ambrose, knowing the disappointment that is going to be heavy on his face.
He shifts back, and I can barely look him in the eye as my shame fills me.
“Hey, we will figure this out together. There is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s the curse doing this, not you.” His fingers lift my chin up to meet his gaze.
Heat fills my body as it does every time he looks at me. Desire pools between my legs as my ache for him grows.
“Use it,”he says.
I let the fire build in me. I let the heat spread as I peruse Ambrose’s body with my eyes. I run my fingers gently over the tuft of hair on the center of his chest as I bite my lower lip.
Shift.
Nothing happens.
Ambrose doesn’t grow impatient with me, though.
“Can you try to explain it to me again?” I ask.
He frowns and runs his hand through his hair. “It’s hard to explain. It would be like explaining to someone how to make their heart beat. It’s a natural process that just happens.”
“But you can control when you shift, so there has to be some practice to it.”
“Yes and no. Once it happens, all you have to do is think about shifting, and your instincts take over.”
“So I just have to figure out how to trigger it the first time?”
He nods.
“Isolde said she could use her magic to help me shift—”
“No!” His voice is loud, commanding. “No, that isn’t even an option. It would give Isolde untold power over you.”
“I thought you trusted Isolde.”
“Not with you.” His golden eyes soften.
I just have to trigger my shift one time, and then it will be as easy as breathing.
But it doesn’t happen. No matter how hard I try. No matter how many times Ambrose shows me how to shift. How patient he is. How he tries to get me to tap into my emotions. How he goes through the mechanics of it, nothing helps.
“Maybe we should try the marking ceremony anyway. Even if I can’t shift, if we are truly mates, it would still work, right?” I say suddenly as I sit next to Ambrose on Rowena’s couch in her living room, with my head resting on his shoulder.
