Page 34 of Undone
Amber
The sun was rising over the mountains, a glorious sight, just as the rest of our underground troops rolled in from the bunker. Our entire group stood outside to meet them. The atmosphere was like nothing I’d ever experienced. Happiness wasn’t the right word. This kind of freedom, hard earned, and the sense of safety we felt out in the open like this . . . it could only be described as joy. Elation of the highest magnitude.
Unfortunately, I was the only one not fully partaking in that feeling.
Don’t get me wrong, the others were mourning, too, but after we’d cleaned Mark’s body and wrapped him, bringing him outside for a burial today, the others were silent and thoughtful. But they were also of the mind that Mark would want us to embrace what he died for. I just couldn’t get past my part in it.
We greeted the others, and I hugged Top. As he looked over the base, out at what we’d done, it was the first time I saw him really smile. It made me realize what a huge step this was. The Baelese had overpowered the entire planet with very small numbers. If we could take back Alaska, and manage to contact others and choreograph stealth missions for more bases, we had a chance of winning this war.
“Sergeant Mahalchick’s body is ready for burial, sir,” I told Top. I felt bad when his smile faltered and fell as he nodded.
“Let’s get our comm boys set up for tech infiltration before those bastards in Nevada notice something’s up, and then we’ll take care of him.”
Rylen put an arm around my shoulder as Top walked away. I soaked in his comfort, turning my face into his chest. All around us people celebrated. The men who’d been broody and lackluster since we arrived, were now beaming, laughing, wrestling on the pine-needle strewn ground. I wanted to laugh when Carmen jumped into the fray, but I couldn’t.
“It’s not your fault,” Ry whispered into my hair.
I closed my eyes and swallowed down the burn of emotion, unable to respond. Rylen pulled me aside, taking my hand so we could walk together.
“Listen to me, Pepper. From what I heard, some of the Baelese were already starting to wake and fight back in a couple of the rooms before we heard that shot. It was inevitable that we wouldn’t be able to take them all out in their sleep. The fact that only one of ours went down is a damn near miracle.”
I stopped and put my face against his chest again. All I could think about was Mark’s silly smile. The way he’d tease me about my sensual love for coffee.
“Losing friends in battle is the worst fucking feeling.” His voice was so somber that I knew this wasn’t his first loss. I wrapped my arms around his back, and he held me close. “You can’t help but wonder afterward what you could’ve done differently. How you might’ve been able to keep someone alive. All we can do is learn from it and keep living the best we can.”
I sniffled hard one last time and looked up into his watery blue-gray eyes. There was so much tenderness and compassion there that I had to swallow again.
“I want to help with his grave,” I said.
He gave me a single nod and took my hand. We walked together to the side yard near the fence where some beautiful old pines shot skyward. Tex, New York Josh, Devon, and Matt were already there, digging. No extra shovels were around. Rylen walked up to Josh and said, “Switch out for a minute?”
Josh wiped his brow and nodded, handing the shovel over. But instead of digging, Rylen handed the shovel to me and kissed my forehead. The guys all exchanged looks that I ignored as I stepped up and began digging. It wasn’t as easy as it looked. The ground was compacted hard.
I dug and dug until my arms, legs, and back were sore and my hands were stinging with blisters. As the guys continued to take turns, nobody bothered me or tried to switch. They probably assumed I would refuse, and they were right. By the time we were done, I was covered in dirt and sweating like a sow. I lifted the shovel from where I stood inside the six-foot grave, my arms like spaghetti, and Rylen grabbed it. Then he stuck out his hand and pulled me up as Tex helped out Matt.
Looking around, we were all a mess. Matt’s dirty face was streaked with tears that he’d shed and wiped while we were down there. And though our group had been through so much together, this moment solidified us as a family unit. We stood close and remained quiet as Top and the chaplain walked out, followed by a mass of soldiers, whispering like something had happened.
“What’s going on?” Rylen asked Top.
The First Sergeant sighed. “We did a scout of the base and found a mass burial mound. We think it’s the officers.”
Everyone silenced as that sank in. My stomach turned, and I had to exhale slowly.
“Let’s honor Mahalchick,” Top said, nodding to the fresh grave.
In all my time as an Army brat, I’d blessedly never had to attend a military funeral. I’d seen them on television, but nothing on a screen could convey the absolute reverence and seriousness surrounding us like a shroud. I thought I was out of tears, but there were always more, and I wasn’t the only one to cry. Wet eyes surrounded me on the faces of tough men and women.
When the last word was spoken, Tex hopped down into the grave, and the others helped slide Mark’s body down to him. I reached for a shovel, and Top grabbed my arm, turning it over to reveal my bloodied, swollen palms.
“Tate . . .” he started, but I shook my head and grabbed the shovel.
“I’ve got it.”
He sighed and stepped up to grab a shovel himself. Devon and Rylen got the other two. I gritted my teeth against the stinging pain, and choked back more damned tears as I tossed the first shovelful of dirt onto Mark’s long, still body, wrapped tightly.
I might’ve overdone it, because I almost passed out at the end, tilting to the side until Tex righted me from behind.
“Whoa, nelly.”
