Page 85 of Kiss Collector
I want to snatch the pamphlet away and run out. Dad exhales in a huff before turning his eyes down to the paper in obvious disapproval. Mom makes a sound in the back of her throat when she gets to the prices at the bottom.
“Mr. and Mrs. Monroe,” says Mrs. Crowley. Her eyes sort of sparkle when she glances at me. “Zae. What if I told you there’s been an anonymous donor who would like to sponsor you?”
The room gets so quiet. So still. I’m afraid to breathe. I can’t... What did she just say? Oh my God, my heart feels like a racehorse just shot out of the gate.
Dad clears his throat. “Someone wants to pay for her?”
“Yes.” Mrs. Crowley looks ready to burst with the news. “They wish to stay anonymous, with no strings attached. Every expense for the entire year.”
“Wait.” Mom closes her eyes. “A year... away?”
“The first semester would be in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She would come home at Christmas. Then the second semester would be in Paris, France. She would be home in time for graduation. The donor has also agreed to pay the community-college tuition fees for her to get the final credits she needs this summer before she leaves.”
Argentina! France!
The room is spinning. I’m in a dream. Mom covers her mouth and tears spring to her eyes.
Dad is staring at me like he doesn’t know me. “Xanderia? This is something you want?”
“I...” OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. “I don’t know?”
“It’s an amazing opportunity,” he says firmly. “But I’m not going to sit here and act like I’m not surprised. I wish you’d confided in us sooner so we could wrap our minds around this. And keep in mind, we’re talking about your senior year. You’re a very sociable, active girl in school. Are you willing to miss all that? Because this is not something where you can get over there, get homesick, and easily come home.”
I can’t believe this is happening. I’m going to hyperventilate. I put my elbows on the desk and breathe, letting my head hang down. Mrs. Crowley chuckles.
“It’s a lot to take in. Listen, Zae. You have two weeks to decide. Think about it. Talk it over as a family. Weigh the positives and negatives.”
“Thank you,” Mom whispers.
We stand together, and my legs are numb and trembling. Mrs. Crowley stays in her office while my parents and I converge in thick silence in the guidance room. Thankfully there’s no aide in there right now to stare at us. When I look up at Mom and Dad, I feel lost, scared, excited, hopeful, worried. I don’t know what to think. I can’t imagine leaving my friends, my family, my school. Senior year was going to be the best year of my life. Traveling has always been my dream, but an unattainable dream. Not something right atmy fingertips for the taking. Stuff like this doesn’t happen to girls like me.
“Zae.” Dad finally breaks the silence. “I don’t know what to say. This is huge.”
“I didn’t know,” I tell him. “When she first showed me the pamphlet and told me to share it with you, I knew we didn’t have the money, so I threw it away.”
“Who could the donor be?” Mom asks. “Do you think they’ll expect something from us?”
“If they’re anonymous, then no,” Dad says. He looks at me. “Do you have any idea who it is?”
“No!” I’m just as shocked and baffled as them. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”
“Ultimately, I think it needs to be your choice,” Dad says. Mom nods her agreement through teary eyes. “But we will be happy to work on the pros-and-cons list to make sure you consider every angle.”
We. My parents aren’t together, but we’re still a family. They’re still my team, both there for me. I swallow hard and nod. “Okay.”
I hug each of them, and my brain seems to shut down on the way back to class. Emotions are gone, too. Nothing is computing. This cannot be real. It can’t be my life.
I want to tell my friends, but at the same time I’m terrified. I don’t want anyone to try to talk me into or out of it. I’ve never been so torn about something. But this is monumental for me.
“Are you okay?” my friends ask me after school.
“Fine.” Not fine. In disbelief. Utter freak-out mode. Forced smile activated.
Brent jumps in front of me on the sidewalk down to the parking lot. He grasps the back of his neck.
“Uh, hey! Are you going to prom with anyone?”
My stomach sinks, sending a wave of yuck over me at the thought of prom. “No,” I say soberly. “I’m not going at all. I’m sorry.”
