Page 93 of Kiss Collector
Oh, my goodness.
Is Mrs. Hernandez my benefactor? I consider what I know about her. She has no children. Her husband died several years ago of cancer. It’s totally possible. But it’s so much. It’s huge. For her to be my silent angel... she has no idea how much it means to me.
“Yeah,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. “When I first heard about the program, I felt kind of mad, you know? Like it was unfair that I couldn’t do it. But it turns out someone else was willing to dream big for me.Withme.”
Her eyes water.
The rest of my words come out as a whisper. “I’m really thankful.”
She takes my hand and uses her other to wipe under her eyes. “I’m thankful there are bright, open-minded studentslike you out there, making the world a better place.”
I hug her and don’t let go until first bell rings, signaling the five-minute warning.
I see you switched from Capri Sun to Hi-C today.
How can you mess with my emotions that way?
That’s all it says, typed up neatly, and I stand there, giggling like a fool at my locker after school. My girls come sprinting when they see me holding the paper. Kenzie snatches it, and the three of them fight over reading it.
“He was watching you at lunch!” Lin says. “He’s the sweetest stalker ever!”
“Who is this?” Monica demands. “Every time I walk by your locker I look to see if anyone is there. Agh!”
Kenzie can’t stop smiling.
“Hey, can you guys give me five minutes?” I ask. “I need to talk to Mrs. Hartt real quick. I’ll meet you at the van.” I hand Monica my keys and jog toward the foreign-language wing.
Mrs. Hartt is wiping her whiteboard clean when I get there. Her smile is weary when she sees me.
“I’m glad you’re here,” she says. “I made a decision today.” She brushes off her hands and comes over. “Several other girls from JV who are trying out for varsity came to me saying they couldn’t get the tumbling in time either. I’m changing it back to just a standing back handspring.”
Oh, crap. I can still cheer. I can... no.No. I’ve made my decision. I stand taller, trying to give myself strength to resist this temptation.
“I’d rather have a big squad,” Mrs. Hartt explains. “I can’t turn you and the others away. And even if every single one of you did have a roundoff back handspring...” She waves the thought away. “Never mind.”
“I know,” I say. “It wouldn’t matter. We’re still Peakton.”
She crosses her arms and gives me a sad smile. “Screw ’em, right?”
“Right,” I agree. “Because Peakton’s the real deal.”
“That’s right,” she says. “I wouldn’t trade you guys for anything.”
A lump lodges in my throat, considering what I’m about to say. I suck it up and tell her, and her mouth drops open. She envelops me in a hug.
“That’s incredible, Zae! I’m so proud of you! What do the girls think? Are they being supportive?”
I chew my lip. “I haven’t told them yet.”
“Ahh.” She presses her lips together. “Be strong, ’kay? I can’t imagine the squad without you—I can’t imagine your group of girls without you—but some things are too important to pass up.” She holds my shoulders at arm’s length to make sure I listen.
“Thank you,” I say. “I’ll miss you.”
I have to leave before I can think too much about cheer going on without me. I can’t have everything. I know if I decide to stay here and experience my senior year with my friends, I can still be on the squad, but I’ll always wonder what would have happened if I had gone. Maybe I’d be happy here, and other opportunities would come up, or maybe I’d always regret it.
I jog down to the parking lot, holding the straps of my book bag so it doesn’t bounce too much. The parking lot is quiet now that most of the cars have gone.
The girls are leaning against the van, watching me as I come to a stop.
